Saturday, December 15, 2007

Five Minutes

today i find myself trying to save something that has already fallen. (my blog)

"wala pang five minutes!!" this expression is often uttered when a piece of food is dropped on the floor. people believe that dirt/germs won't be able contaminate that piece of food if it is picked up in less than five seconds.

"sayang kasi, pwede pa naman." it would be a shame if i just let it go to waste. i feel that i can still write if i exert enough effort and will. from "fighting spirit" to "fighting pilit" i am trying to revive this blog for my friends, my readers, and visitors.

i must confess that i have lost interest in blogging. one of the reasons why i started a blog was because i found a lot of potential readers and that i was active in chatrooms and forums. i seem to have lost interest in chatting because of the same-ol' same-ol' shit. and because pRO started to suck christmas balls thanks to the shitty management of level-up philippines. i have lost all interest in pRO and ragnaboards. i have moved on to a better server.

and because of my inactivity, i do not feel the excitement and the thrill of writing a new article. the comments and reactions from the readers are the things that fuel me into writing, but because i have grown uninterested and lazy in chatting and posting in forums, this blog has been abandoned.

again, please forgive me for causing you disappointment and boredom everytime you visit this blog. i will try to make new articles as soon as possible and i will try to save this blog from rotting away.

"pwede pa yan, wala pang five minutes."

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Opinions

about half-a-week ago, we were entertained once more by the circus of so-called leaders called "politicians". on the day of senator trillianes' trial, he and his men walked out of the court room armed and started to prance around the streets shouting "join us!!", "oust pgma!!", and some other blah blah blah. surprisingly, some civilians marched with them (they also wore that red armband). much like every politician's open supporters, they were paid a sum of 200php each just to be there.

they made their stand at manila peninsula. where trillianes talked about his (people's) demands and even mentioned that they would never stop and give up. when i watched it on tv, he was almost teary-eyed and his emotions were really bursting out. he talked about pgma's scandals, the people's hardships, his iron will to never give up until the philippines is set right.

i said to myself, wow. i think he really means it. (translation: good, it means there will be no classes on monday.)

i knew it was too good to be true, as the apc tank smashed through manila peninsula. i was half-expecting the zaidos to pop out of the tank. but alas, they used the oh-so-brutal tear gas on the poor military rebels and the nosy media men. shaider could have been there but he's already in a better place. (rest in peace).

well so much for their last stand. they got caught and were taken into custody.

the administration couldn't just wipe them out because of the nosy media men and the fact that exterminating trillianes and his men would be like throwing/hosting a fellatio festival for opposition team. if trillianes gets killed, the opposition will feast on the drama. more trouble for pgma and the administration.

any move made by the government is checked, double-checked, and criticized by the opposition team and the "masa". that is why pardon was granted for erap, just to close the book and make the "masa" forget about their grievances on the government. hoping that it can create a little breathing space for the administration, and somehow minimize the attacks coming from the opposition.

the administration and the opposition concentrate on pleasing the crowd. whoever statisfies the wants of the hundreds of thousands of masses takes the seat in the government. that's what democracy is all about anyway. for the people, by the people.

what's tragic is, the masses can't think for themselves. (it's sad but many people are uneducated and unemployed and starving.) they just support whoever promises them liberation from poverty. (and who can blame them?)

this is where the media comes in. the media makes the drama so that the masses can relate to the current political events. the news has to have drama for it to sell. nobody pays for plain, boring, "as-is" news. thus, reality and facts are replaced with the media's flavorings. or the politicans themselves make the drama so that the media will cover them.

with the image of "empowering the people", the media is a force to be reckoned with. nosy media men who sucked teargas are hailed as heroes while the people who are just doing their jobs are called assholes. the government can't do their job because of the possible casualties, trillianes can't make his last stand because of the possible casualties. yes, the media men, at all cost, must not be harmed. for they can slap you silly on public tv if they wanted to.

a government that is for the people, by the people has turned chaotic because every damn bastard is voicing out his opinion. every damn bastard wants to be the leader. every damn bastard thinks he can think.

so the next time you get the urge to give out dramatic opinions [like this one], make sure you know what you're talking about. else, let the professionals deal with it.

let them do their job.

you don't go supervising the doctors on how they should install your iron lung. you don't know shit about it, so stfu.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Old Trick Questions

back in highschool we used to play a game of trick questions. i have no idea where this originated but somehow most of the kids at that time knew of it. (this was probably some old fraternity i.q. test)

so without further ado, here they are:

question: "how do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator (in three steps)?"
answer: "1.) open the door of the fridge, 2.) put the elephant inside, 3.) and close it."

after giving the answer, we divert to another topic or tell jokes. and after a few minutes we ask the following question.

question: "the airplane's engines are failing and we need to lighten the load, what do you throw away to save the plane?"
answer: "the refrigerator" (why? the goddamned elephant is in there!")

we ask another question so that they won't think that we are diverting from the game.

question: "tarzan needed to rescue jane, and he calls forth all the animals in the jungle. who was not present among all the animals?"
answer: "the elephant" (he is still inside the fridge)

tell another joke.

then hit them with another trick question.

question: "you are lost in a swamp and you have to cross it.
you saw a sign saying, "beware of crocodiles, do not cross"
what do you do?"
answer: "just swim across, there are no crocs. (tarzan called all the animals a while ago)

now for the finishing move.
question: "two lovers were sitting on a bench, it was night time and nobody else can see them. as things became mushy and hot between them, they suddenly died."
they were found dead the next day. "what was the cause of their death?"
answer: "the refrigerator squashed them"

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Paying Respects

the beauty of being a mortal can be compared to a short story being told at bedtime. it is beautiful because it has a happy ending, it is beautiful because there is something learned and shared in such a short time. though it doesn't last forever, we can appreciate it because we can see hope... --that through the hardships and struggles there will always be a brighter day ahead. great as the story is, there is always an end to it. --a "happily ever after".
we close our eyes and look forward into the next day. we go to sleep with a smile, inspired by the bed time story, inspired by the persons who shared their lives with us. the story may have ended this night, but tomorrow it will be our story... a story inspired and touched by those who passed on before us. we may not be able to think of them every single day, but their values and memories will always stay in our hearts, giving us the strength to face the days ahead... so that someday, our story may inspire and touch lives too.
you really should remember to visit your (late) loved ones at least once a year.
it's always better to visit them than the other way around (them visiting you).

Friday, October 26, 2007

Another Environment-Friendly Reminder

well there hasn't been enough environmental care topics here on philippine rabbit, so, i would like to make this post as environmentally friendly as possible. today, we tackle the issue of using toilet paper. paper, as we all know is a product made from trees. and though trees are abundant in our forests, their numbers quickly diminish due to the high consumption and demand for paper and wood-based products. (this is inversely proportional to the female's demand for morning wood.) another scarce resource would be potable water. as we know, water is a virtually limitless due to the fact that the earth is composed of 70.8% water, 29.2% land, and 90% idiot-inhabitants (see: yourself). drinkable water is only at 1% of the total water supply on earth. yes, it is limited. restrooms in malls, restaurants, and gasoline stations should at least post a slogan about conservation. something like.. "save paper and use water, but use paper to save water"

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Entertainment

its funny how people fuss over wowowee and eat-bulaga. what i find entertaining here are not the shows but the people who argue about what was created to entertain them.

the media only produce things that mediocre people find entertaining. sadly, the media does not help in the development of its viewers.

it's a good business to cater to the common idiot (rather than to persuade the audience to watch informative shows that can promote critical thinking). you just have to come up with upbeat-and-meaningless songs and mix it with sexually suggestive dance steps.

these shows from the media, these songs from so-called artists, these things that we call entertainment can ensure that we degenerate back to the fur-covered-dung-hurling primates that we once were.

Monday, September 3, 2007

I Lost a Girlfriend

two years ago i started writing a fanfic for my home server in pRO. the reason why i stopped writing was because my girlfriend broke up with me...

due to lack of inspiration and a broken heart, i lost interest in writing. well, that was two years ago. today, i would like to share with you how we broke up and our last text messages.

day A: we went to manila to meet up with our guildmates.

early in the morning at around 8 o'clock, we took the bus for manila and headed to our guild's home-base for an eb (eye-ball/meeting). we stayed had a little chat, pk-ed some players and took some castles. after woe (war of the emperium), my guildmates insisted that i get my hunter to level 99. (i was at level 98 back then.) after spending some hours in the guild dungeon, mvp-ing, and player-killing i finally had my mighty blue aura. that was the greatest moment of my ragnarok online life.

i stood up and thanked my guildmates for helping me reach perfection. we had a couple of laughs and then my cellphone suddenly rang... yes, you guessed it right. my gf was mad because i did not text her the whole day and she even demanded that i go home at that very hour.


day B: i was having lunch at a "carinderia" when my friends came over and asked me to go boss-hunting.

there i was having a peaceful meal when my girlfriend called up and asked me to come over. being the good boyfriend that i was, i told her that i would be there in an hour. after finishing my meal, my friends came over and asked for help in hunting down mvp monsters. since i had 30 minutes to spare, i joined them. we took down a couple of bosses... and then some.. and then some more... and i totally forgot about our date.

day C: and every wednesday.

let's put the blame on level-up for scheduling woe on wednesdays. because wednesday is "watch-a-movie-with-my-girlfriend-day", we often argue and debate about finishing the movie.

well... she finally got fed up and broke with me after a month. (and got herself a new boyfriend after a few months.)

day Z: i only had 50 pesos in my wallet (which i could use to purchase an 8-hour prepaid gaming card)

after months of no communication whatsoever, she texted me... the message/quote was something like... she does not really love the person that she's with, and that she still loves me, but she can't do anything because she doesn't want to break anybody's heart

seeing it as an opportunity, i erased all thoughts of topping-up for my game and i ran to the nearest "sari-sari" store and bought prepaid credits for my cellphone instead. i was so happy and i immediately sent her a response.

me: "bakit hindi ka pa bumalik?"
her: "ha? sorry wrong send... sorry ha, naka send to all kasi."

Shit.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Color Blind

i was asked how i would describe the color purple to a blind person.

"if you piss me off, and i beat you senseless and your skin will turn purple."

Happiness and Fulfillment

we live in a world where standards and uniformity are supposed to dictate or preset the way we live, the happiness and smile on our faces, the success and fulfillment of our lives.

in a world where everybody is supposed to act and think like everybody else. a world where your own feelings and purpose are contrasted with standards and common thinking.

what is the thing that really make us fulfilled?
not the thing that we adopt to to make us feel fulfilled... our eyes search for approval from other persons, and we smile and think of ourselves as fulfilled, happy, and content. but yet, the face can smile and the heart can doubt.

"they laugh at me because i am different, i laugh at them because they are all the same."

do dare to be different, do dare to feel your purpose and cast aside doubts and fear of comparison. let your heart feel the fulfillment, achieve what your heart burns for, not what you are born for.

writing this article reminded me of a movie titled "babe" wherein a pig breaks away from being bacon and fulfills his dream to be a shepherd-pig.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Old Porn Source



back when i was a kid the only sources of porn were:
  • betamax and vhs tapes.
  • tiktik and abante taboids.
Red Kinoko: newspaper fund drives
Red Kinoko: you know, when your school asks you to bring newspapers to school to donate to poor people
Red Kinoko: and then most kids start bringing in tabloids with newspapers
Red Kinoko: and then we would sift them out
Red Kinoko: and start reading the smutty writings on them.

  • family computer games like "poker" and some "fighting games".
yes, we had to settle for 8-bit porn.
there were no:
  • "scandals" dot 3gp for your cellphones.
  • internet porn.
  • 3 for 100php pirated hentai/porn cds.
  • flash drives that can contain gigs of porn.
getting caught red handed with your dad's tapes/tabloids was a phase in life that a kid of my generation had to go through.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Tongue Scan

we were asked to write something about what we think should be computerized/automated in our school. and i would like to suggest something that won't require us to wear i.d.'s.

i.d. swiping is so yesterday, and so are eye scans. i'm thinking something that would benefit both the school and the student. nobody will ever be late, in fact every student, faculty or staff would want to arrive at school on time... (or even earlier).

this technology is called.... *drum roll* "The Tongue Scan" (inspired by i.d. "swiping" "and eye scanning")

you can only enter the campus when you have your saliva scanned. there would be this scanner called a "tongue pad". you would have to "lick" this pad and have your saliva verified by our computer system. of course, coming in late would mean licking up all the saliva residue of the people who came in before you. that's why you come in early.

system: "welcome to holy angel university"
system: "please lick on the tongue pad for verification"
juan: "whoa, we finally high-tech bish!!"
*juan licks the tongue pad*
system: "verified." "good morning, mr. juan de la cruz!!"

*maria arrives at school*
system: "welcome to holy angel university"
system: "please lick on the tongue pad for verification"
*maria licks on the pad*
system: "verified." "good morning, ms. maria clara!!"

*pedro arrives at school*
system: "welcome to holy angel university"
system: "please lick on the tongue pad for verification"
*pedro licks the tongue pad*
system: "verified." "good morning, mr. juan de la cruz!!"

oh, did i mention that the system is also effective in detecting homosexuals?

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Why Choose an IT Guy?

  • we can 'plug-n-play'
  • we are used to (your) looping statements
  • our 'hardware' can always meet your 'system requirements'
  • our 'input' devices can also 'generate outputs'
  • we don't have biological 'viruses'
  • our rj-45 "jack" can fit into any port
  • we can "do-while", and "switch"
  • your <body>sexy</body> is great
  • we can do it on that desk(top) or on my lap(top)
  • we can never have 2 girlfriends, we can only count from 0 to 1.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Cheats


we guys learn the art of cheating at a very young age.

press UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, B, A at the title screen. Now press Start for a one-player game or Select and Start for a two-player game.

yes, you remembered correctly. this is the cheat code for contra.

but little did you know that this is basic self-defense

next time your girlfriend catches you cheating, --and tries to pummel you into oblivion.

remember the dodging technique you learned when you were young.

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right...

---

Red Kinoko: back during the days of contra
Red Kinoko: if two guys hanged out with each other wearing tight shirts and funky hair, you know theyre bound to kick ass
Red Kinoko: nowadays when you see shit like that you will almost always go "fags."

Friday, May 25, 2007

Filipino Time

i hate long lines... two of them are: the long yellow-brown skid marks on my tighty whities (see: underwear stains), and enrollment.

there we are, waiting and standing in front of the office. waiting for the goddamned door to open at exactly one o'clock pm (as we were told. and as scheduled.) the clock ticked 1pm... we peered through the glass window to see if there are any people inside. to nobody's surprise, nobody was inside. a security guard walked towards us at around 1:10pm and he asked us to please wait patiently.

it was only at 1:30 that they let us in.

i have a hunch on how the filipinos lost in battle. why the uprisings failed, and why the filipinos always lost to their conquerors.

because they were never on time.
pinoy captain: "we have successfully stolen some rifles and ammunition from the enemy sir."
pinoy general: "good, have your men ready. we attack at sundown."
pinoy captain: "eat hearty men, for tonight we dine in hell."

*30 minutes before sundown*

pinoy general: "i trust you and your men are ready now."
pinoy captain: "where is pedro?"
pinoy soldier: "i think he's going to be late sir"
pinoy soldier to his fellow pinoy soldier: "where is juan?"
*another pinoy soldier mumurs* "goddamnit those guys are always late"

*attack begins*

pinoy general: "goddamnit captain, we are losing our men. where are the reinforcements?!"
pinoy captain: *looks at his watch and shakes his head*

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Without Greetings

the sun hits you in the face and you wake up on a/your special day. --a birthday, a graduation day, new year, christmas, mother's day, father's day, or just about any "special day" wherein a celebration is in order.

you walk out of your room and join the table for breakfast. --everybody greets you "good morning" and you smile back.

in our family... nobody really greets you on a/your special day. nobody gives away cards or even a text message, not even a hint of "a special day greeting". well... i got a testimonial from my younger sister on my birthday. :p

well, that sucks right? that day comes only once a year and you don't even get a greeting from your own family.

well, let's just say nobody wants to get old. if you remember every single greeting you get every year, and try to sum them up --you'd feel really old. real old. and maybe it's our way of not putting pressure on one another. can you remember family reunions? relatives greet you "happy holidays" and then proceed to stick their noses into your business. compares you to every successful bastard in the family and asks you how would next year go? would you still be the same or would you be successful? (translation: join them next year in criticizing other family members.)

but in our family... (my bro-in-law, my elder sister, my 2 nieces, my nephew, my sister, and me)

there's no need for greetings.

yes, another year passed but nobody is expecting you to change much, because they love the way you are. that is why you smile and join them at the table happy and content. --without greetings.

---

oh and we neither say sorry.

click here for redkinoko's no sorry.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

No Quote No Txt

friend: why don't you keep quotes in your cellphone?me: i already read them, so i deleted them. (in fact i don't even read them)
friend: you don't even save "sweet messages" from your friends.
me: i am diabetic.
friend: you just don't have a heart.
me: i do, it pumps blood for my body.

friend: don't you guys forward quotes to your (guy) friends?
me: what for?
friend: to tell them that you remember and miss them?
me: *in a deep voice* umm, pare namiss kita ah, eto forward ako ng quote para sayo.
friend: that sounds gay.
me: exactly.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

The Urdr Fanfic

This fanfic was inspired of course by that Legendary “Alamat ni Pritong Kandule”

Ang fic na ito ay katulad din ng Alamat ni Ninong pero with the twists of Player-Kill na enabled
dito sa server natin.

Isang araw may isang novice na isinilang sa bayan ng Payon, ang pangalan niya ay B>Php.

‘Amft!!” ang unang salita na lumabas sa bibig ng ating bida. “Bakit walang ka tao tao dito?
Habang tinitignan niya ang mga taong gumagala sa siyudad ng Payon ay bigla siyang
napatawa. “Bakit ang daming mukhang bote ng Yakult dito?!”

Linapitan niya ang isa sa mga ito at biglang tinapik sa likuran, ‘Hoy! ano ba ang job mo?"
wika ng ating bida. “Isa po akong Acolyte at magiging Monk po ako”

Hindi naitindihan ng ating bida kung ano ang Acolyte at lalo na kung ano ang Monk...
kaya binatukan na lamang niya ang kawawang Acolyte at umalis na para maghanap ng job

“Hmm kailangan ko muna palang humanap ng zenny, Malas naman bakit kasi walang tao dito
sa lugar na ito.”

Sumigaw-sigaw ang ating bida ng ‘Buying Php Pampanga Area!!” ngunit tila walang
pumapansin sa kanya... ‘Aba mga tae ang mga tao dito, Mataasan nga ang presyo para
may lumapit" sabay sigaw na “T> all my baon sa skul kapalit ng zenny ninyo!!”

May lumapit na isang Hunter na nagngangalang [AC]Kuneho, “Wow Cabalen” wika ng Hunter.

Sabay ngiti ang ating bida at sinabing “Buying Php ako!!”

‘Aba mayaman ka ata’ ang sabi ni [AC]Kuneho. (Kung buying Php siya big sabihin ay dollars
ang pera niya)

“Oo. kuya’ sabi naman ni B>Php. Anong gusto mo? 5 Pesos per M, o ang aking 20 Pesos Top-
Up Card?


Napa /omg ang Hunter at aalis na sana ngunit naawa siya sa kanyang Cabalen.

"Sige kunin ko ang 20 Pesos Card mo para sa 2M” sabi ng Hunter.

“Sige Kuya’,. ang maamong sagot ng ating bida,

“Pero TUF” sabi naman ng Hunter,

TUF? ano kaya iyon? t.. u.. f? “Kuya hindi naman mahirap magtiwala sakin eh! it’s not "tough",
Cabalen mo ako.”

Napakamot ng ulo ang Hunter at nagdemand ng Card Number at Pin Code.

“M1018040730556 D307713F” ang pm ng ating bida kay [AC]Kuneho.

Hindi naman nagdalawang isip ang Hunter at binigay kaagad ang 2M ni B>Php.

“Ayus, may na scam!!” ang boung ngiting sinabi ng ating bida. “Hindi niya alam yun ang card
na pinagload ko ngayon... (Oo, nakuha na niyang magload dahil yung 30 hrs niyang free game
time ay nagamit na niya sa kakaupo sa Payon habang naka Pub ng “Palimos po!! ang Zeny
mo Buhay ko”.)

Dahil may 2m na ang ating bida, pumunta na siya sa Archer Guild at sinabi na nais na niyang magchange job. Ngunit hindi siya pinayagan ng NPC, dahil wala pa siya sa tamang job level.


Nagalit siya sa NPC at tinadyakan ito "tangina ka!" hindi mo ba nakikita na mayaman ako!
Yun lang ang kailangan dito sa Yu-Ar-Dee-ArH.

Naisip ng ating bida na kailangan muna niya ng magagandang gamit at headgear para
pansinin siya ng NPC at gawin siyang Archer. Sinabi din nito na kumuha siya ng Trunks

Dahil sa “Mayaman na" ang ating bida, umupo ulit siya sa payon at nag pub B> Trunks and
Headgears

May pumasok na isang Acolyte at nag offer ng 1.9M para sa isang Mansanas na may palaso sa gitna.

"Aba yan ang sinusuot ng mga Hunter!!” sabi niya sa sarili niya. “Sige kukunin ko” sabi niya sa
Acolyte. Di-neal siya ng Acolyte at nagtype si B>Php doon sa maliit na box sa kaliwa. Dahan
dahan siyang nag-type dahil baka ma-iscam siya,

Pinindot niya ang 1, kasunod ang Period, ang 9 at nagshift pa para malagay ang capital M.
“Aba!!” galit na galit na sabi ng Acolyte

“1900000 ang i-type mo NOOB!!” wika ng Acolyte. “Ah ganoon pala” sabi naman ng ating bida.
"O sige, i-deal mo ulit ako”


Nang i-deal siya ng Acolyte. napasobra ng 0 ang nalagay ng ating bida, ngunit kaagad niyang
napindot ang trade

Umalis na ang Acolyte para magpalevel-up.


Kumapa sa bulsa ang ating bida at napa /omg (Pero lumitaw sa ilalim ng screen niya na "You
have not learned enough skills to use emoticons”) nawawala ang kanyang 2M.

“Ampota!!” na-iscam ako!!... sabay tingin doon sa Mansanas na nabili niya, “T-A-E talaga!!
hindi ko pa pala pwedeng isuot ito! “ may lebel requirement pala... Malas talaga!! Pilit niyang
ipinapatong sa ulo niya ito, kaya nahulog ito sa sahig na bigla naman pinulot ng isang Archer.

Napapaiyak na ang ating bida kaya’t nag Pub na lamang siya habang nagmumukmok
‘Palimos po ng Trunks”

Napaisip ang ating bida..., may 2 hrs na pala siyang nakaconnect at mauubos na ang kanyang
load.

Ano kaya ang kulay ng Trunks na gusto ng NPC na yun? saan naman kaya siya lalangoy at
kailangan niya ng maraming Trunks?”

May lumapit na isang archer sa kanya at binigyan siya ng mga bloke ng kahoy.

“Aanhin ko naman itong mga kahoy na ito?” sabi niya sa Archer,
“Dalhin mo yan sa NPC at kailangan niya iyan” ang tugon ng Archer

"Aba linoloko ata ako ng NPC na iyon ah!!” “Ang mga tao nga naman dito sa Yu-Ar-Dee-Ar ang
susungit at ang dadamot!! buti pa ikaw kuya!” sabi niya sa nagmagandang loob na Archer.

“Urder po hindi Yu-Ar-Di-Ar” ang wika ng Archer, “Tara i-tatank na kita para naman maging
Archer ka na rin”

Tuwang-tuwa ang ating bida at masayang sumunod sa Archer.


---


Dahil sa magandang kalooban ng Archer, naging ganap na Archer na rin sa wakas ang ating
bida.

Umalis na ang Archer at nagpalevel-up na... Ang ating bida naman ay namamangha sa kanyang bagong kasuotan. "Ang ganda.., meron na akong iscarf! haha!! mukhang malakas na rin ako sa wakas"

"Sino nga naman ang hindi lalakas eh elam ko ang tamang build ng mga Hunter kaya nga sa
Pee-Kei ako sumali." ”Nasa Strength ang lakas... d ba naman obyus Strength nga eh!!” sabay /gg


Habang naglalakbay siya may nakita siyang Mage na pumapalo ng Willow," Aba ang galing
naman nito may Crit!!”

Sabay sawsaw sa Willow na tinitira ng Mage. “Amp sawsaw!!” sabi ng Mage sa kanya.

"Ikaw nga ang sawsaw eh” sabi naman ni B>Php. Ako ang unang nakakita niyan. meron
akong Bultyurs Ai!!

“Buti pa party nalang tayo” sabi ng ating bida, “Ok sige” ang tugon naman ng Mage

“Ano nga pala ang pangalan mo?", “Ako si Rule” sabi ng Mage. “Ako naman si B>Php ang
Hunter na kakatakutan ng mga PK Players" ang mayabang na sagot ng ating bida.

"Teka nakita ko ang lakas mong mag crit, ang galing mo naman!" ang papuring sabi ng ating
bida, “Siyempre naman" sabi ni Rule. “May SS card ako eh!!" sabay pinakita ang kanyang
wand

"Mukhang mayaman to ah.. di kami mawawalan ng pera may pension pala sa SS to” ang
bumulong sa isip ng ating bida.

Magpalebel na tayo ang sabi ni B>Php sa kanyang bagong minion.

“Opo master” ang sagot ni Rule.

"Pero wala nga pala akong pera" sabi naman ni B>Php, meron ka ba dyan... pahiram muna at
babayaran na lamang kita”, "Ok lang po master” ang pa-cute na tugon ni Rule.

"Pumunta tayo sa Bi-Island balita ko ay madaling makagawa ng pera doon." sumunod naman si
Rule sa kanyang master.

Pagdating nila sa Byalan may mga taong nagpapatayan doon at napakagulo.

"Amft mga WEAK!!” ang sigaw ng ating bida sa mga Players na nageenjoy sa pagpatay. "Hit
me!!” ang nagmamayabang sigaw ulit ng ating bida"

Hindi naman siya matira ng mga players dahil wala pa siyang level 51.

Nang lumingon ang ating bida nakita niyang nakahiga sa sahig ang ka-party niyang si Rule.

*Drama Part* PPPPPPOOOOOOOOTAAAAAAAANGGGG EENAAA inyong lahaaat!! sabay bunot
sa kanyang Pana at Palaso.

"Arrow Shaw..... Natigil ang ating bida dahil may nag Resu sa kanyang kasama. At sabay fly
wing naman si Rule.

Napalingon lahat ng Players sa Priestess na nag Resu kay Rule at siya naman ang binanatan.

Sabay fly wing narin ang ating bida at lumapit na sa kinalalagyan ni Rule.

Pumasok na sa dungeon ang ating mga bida para magpalevel...


---


Habang naglalakad may nakasalubong na lalake ang ating mga bida. Nakapink siyang damit at
ngumiti ng matamis habang nakikipag eye-to-eye contact kay B>Php.
"Hi Pogi!" ang malambing na pagbati niya sa ating bida."Ako si Jappy ang Gheylord ng Bi-Island" ang tuloy pa nito. Nagtatankang tumingin ang ating bida sa Gheylord at sinabing "Ano ba ang gusto mo?"

"Matagal na akong nalulungkot dito sa Bi-Island" ang sabi ng Gheylord sa kanya. "Bibigyan
kita ng zenny ngunit kailangan mo akong bigyan ng ligaya” ang dugtong nito.
Nandiri ang ating bida at tumanggi na lamang sa oper.

Naglakad sila papalayo sa Gheylord habang bigla namang natigil ang ating bida dahil
mayroong sumundot sa kanyang pwet. "Aba't bastos ka!!” ang sigaw ng ating bida habang
tumalikod siya para banatan ang sumundot sa kanya. Nakita niya ang isang Hydra pala ang may gawa nito. Titirahin na sana niya ang monster nang may nakita siyang isang Acolyte
na may bitbit na paso.

“Hoy ano ang ginagawa mo dyan” ang tanong ni Rule habang humahandang hampasin ang
Acolyte. “Nanghuhuli ako ng Hydra, gagawin ko itong pet.. Eto o ilalagay ko sa paso"
ang sagot ng Acolyte. Lumapit ang ating bida sa Acolyte at tinignan to mula ulo hanggang paa.

"Mukhang mapapakinabangan ka namin sa party” ang sabi ni B>Php sa Acolyte
“Mayroon ka bang iskill na Heal?” ang dagdag pa niya, “Siyempre meron” ang tugon ng
Acolyte sa ating bida. Sinali ng ating mga bida sa party ang Acolyte dahilan sa wala
na silang pambili ng red pots.

“Ako nga pala si PamusalanDaka” ang sabi ng Acolyte sa mga bago niyang ka-party. Nagisip Si
B>Php na mabagal ang kanilang pagpapalevel-up sa Bi-Island at natatakot narin siya sa mga
ghey na pumapaligid dito, "Mayroon ka bang warp?” ang tanong niya kay PamusalanDaka.
Mayabang na sumigaw si PamusalanDaka ng “Warp Portal!!” at umilaw ang sahig sa tabi niya.

Dali dali namang tumapak si Rule sa ilaw at sinabing “Tignan ninyo umiilaw na ak...” at bigla
siyang naglaho. Walang ibang magawa ang ating mga bida kundi sumunod kay Rule na bigla na lamang naglaho, Ang sumunod nilang nakita ay ang loading
screen na nagsasaad na “Botting is a Crime Period.”

Habang naglalakad ang ating mga bida ay may nakita silang isang higanteng tao na may
alalay din na mga higanteng katulad niya. ”Aba sino yan?!” ang takot na takot na tanong ni
B> Php
“Master, si Ultraman yan!!” ang tugon ni PamusalanDaka. Biglang nagpaulan ng mga
higanteng bola ng apoy ang higante at sabay sabay humiga ang ating mga bida.

(Return to the last save point) nagkita kita ang ating mga bida sa siyudad ng prontera at doon
ay nagpahinga muna sila sa kalye. habang nakaupo sila ay naglabas ng apple juice si
PamusalanDaka. Si Rule naman ay gutom na gutom na. Nang kumapa naman ang ating bida
Sa kanyang pantalon ay naka kuha siya ng isang alcohol. Lahat sila ay gutom na kaya’t
nag-isip
ang ating bida, "Alam ko na!! Shot nalang tayo makakalimutan din natin ang gutom” ang sabi
niya sa kanyang mga-kaparty.

Pinaghalo ni B>Php anf apple juice at alcohol, “Master, ano naman kaya ang magiging lasa
niyan?” ang tanong ni Rule. Aba, parang Gin-Pomelo na rin ito ang tuwang-tuwang sagot ng
ating bida
Masayang nag-iinuman ang ating mga bida nang may nakita silang dalawang grupo na
nagaaway.

Ang mga nakapula laban sa mga naka-asul na bandana. “Talangka!!” ang sigaw ng isang
grupo, "Eslab!!” ang sigaw ng kabila. Sa malayong dako naman ay may sumigaw na "Tau Grasa!!” at may
sumigaw din na “Kubeta Ro!!" nagka-royal rumble sa Prontera,

Hindi makagalaw sa pagka-upo ang ating mga bida sa sobrang takot kaya't nanood na lamang sila sa magaganap na rambol. Habang nagkakabanatan na ang mga grupong ito ay biglang
may
lumitaw na GM at nawarp lahat ng tao sa Orc Dungeon.

"Kung gusto ninyong mag-away ay dito na lang, hindi pwedeng magpatayan sa town” ang sabi
ng GM. Nang mahimasmasan ang mga players ay tinitigan nila ang GM at sabay sabay
na inatake dito.
"pota kayong mga GM!!" ang sigaw nilang lahat habang inuupakan ang kawawang GM.

credits: reichan (for saving a copy and scanning it for me. thankies!! ^__^)
pRO Urdr (my home server)
Urdrians (fanfic natin to!)

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Ready, Aim, Fire!!

i came across a very interesting fact:

the last drop of male urine...
does not obey the law of gravity...


unless...

SHAKEN!!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Right Answer

--12 am. a guy was sleeping peacefully when his cellphone wakes him up. his girlfriend texted him asking if he's still up. what should this guy reply?

A) yes, i am awake now. thanks to you.
B) yep, im still up. what's up?
C) ignore her and go back to sleep.

if the guy chooses option A, his girlfriend might get her feelings hurt. after all, she was just concerned and was just checking up on him. --wrong answer.

if the guy chooses option B, his girlfriend might get mad. why is he still up? at this hour! there is something fishy going on. he should be asleep at this hour. --again, wrong answer.

if the guy chooses option C, his girlfriend might think that he doesn't have time for her. she then spams him with a hundred messages or calls him up just to "check". --wrong move.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Friendster

you are probably wondering why my friendster profile is so plain and why i don't post any blog or bulletin there. and you are probably wondering why i don't update my pictures much.

my friendster profile is plain so that it will be easier to load and people can read my profile with ease. i don't get it why people put so much stuff in their profile anyway, when i try to view their profile, it feels like im downloading a movie file from bit torrent. yes, it takes so much time to load and when it does there's this stupid background photo that makes it impossible for me to read their profile. then there's this annoying music that i don't even want to listen to. and a flash animation of their photos.

speaking of photos, i don't get it why people take pictures of themselves posing like japanese girls. japanese girls are cute. YOU are NOT. they also have pictures of their monkey faces facing this direction and that, this angle and that, and twisting their goddamned heads in the most fucked up way possible and all their pictures look the same. then there are these people who take a picture with their beds and pillows, with some caption like "let's sleep" bullshit. it's more like, fuck me in my bed now cuz i'm so desperate. seems like they don't care if somebody (as stupid and desperate as they are) jack off to their stupid pictures.

then there are these half-naked pictures. not that i really mind, they're cool in a way, as long as girls do them. i mean, who doesn't want free porn? you can browse friendster and feel like you just visited some soft core amateur porn sites, for free! no membership, no credit card needed! kickass huh? but there are these guys who don't act like guys anymore. they try to be vin diesel and shit. whoring their web cam pictures like they are on xtube. they are these dumb faggots who make videos of "watch me jack off on your picture". look you stupid monkeys, the only ones who view your stupid pictures are those 40 year old gay guys pretending to be some sexy cock sucking bitch. these are the guys who draw dicks on walls, armchairs, and tables.

then there are these copy-pasted bullshitins (translation: bullshit bulletins and blogs. they claim that they are the ones who came up with such good (and more often stupid) posts. stupid chain letters are also flooding my inbox, these morons use the Name of GOD just to be able to send these chain messages. please don't believe in such bullshit, just pray, do what is right and help other people. chain letters are not God's way of spreading his Word. the way is YOU. there are also chain letters about please pass this around to make enough money for a sick person bullshit. it's NOT real get it? and if some bullshit post tells you to pass this message to 500 friends (which you obviously don't have. i even doubt you have 20 real life friends for being so desperate in friendster) or your loved ones will die tonight. it is NOT real goddamnit!! you retard.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Block It

go to C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DRIVERS\etc
open the hosts file with notepad.

you will see this:

----------

# Copyright (c) 1993-1999 Microsoft Corp.
#
# This is a sample HOSTS file used by Microsoft TCP/IP for Windows.
#
# This file contains the mappings of IP addresses to host names. Each
# entry should be kept on an individual line. The IP address should
# be placed in the first column followed by the corresponding host name.
# The IP address and the host name should be separated by at least one
# space.
#
# Additionally, comments (such as these) may be inserted on individual
# lines or following the machine name denoted by a '#' symbol.
#
# For example:
#
# 102.54.94.97 rhino.acme.com # source server
# 38.25.63.10 x.acme.com # x client host

127.0.0.1 localhost

----------

we want to block friendster right? this is what you do...

under the 127.0.0.1 localhost, type:
127.0.0.1 www.friendster.com

it would look like this...

----------

# Copyright (c) 1993-1999 Microsoft Corp.
#
# This is a sample HOSTS file used by Microsoft TCP/IP for Windows.
#
# This file contains the mappings of IP addresses to host names. Each
# entry should be kept on an individual line. The IP address should
# be placed in the first column followed by the corresponding host name.
# The IP address and the host name should be separated by at least one
# space.
#
# Additionally, comments (such as these) may be inserted on individual
# lines or following the machine name denoted by a '#' symbol.
#
# For example:
#
# 102.54.94.97 rhino.acme.com # source server
# 38.25.63.10 x.acme.com # x client host

127.0.0.1 localhost
127.0.0.1 www.friendster.com

----------

save the file.

type www.friendster.com in your internet browser.

connection refused.

(now do this for every pc in the shop)

philippine rabbit, saving gamers since january 2007.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Lucky First

simply for having a family name that begins with the letter 'A', i always get to be the first in the class list. always the first one in the seating arrangement. and thanks to my height, i always get to be the first in line.

it's like being the first monkey to be blasted off to outer space. i always get to be the experimental guinea pig. people just watch there and make comments about you blowing shit off and screwing it up. you always get to be the basis of something sucky. being the lucky first, you do not have any idea on what you are supposed to do... you're always the clueless cat - wondering why you can't dig through concrete when you need to take your dump so badly.

you don't get much recognition for pioneering things because you probably suck at it, or.. you suck at it so bad that it can give you fame that can last for 10 years.

people are just scared to be the first, they are afraid to fail. they are the virgin guys who don't know where to shoot the cock without a dirty whore to guide them.

to all those who get to be the lucky first..., this is for you.

for your bravery, for your risk taking, for your failures, for your success, for your footsteps.

Monday, January 8, 2007

Fork and Spoons

the filipino dining room... a large "last supper" picture, "toyo" and "patis" stain-rings on placemats and a pair of big ass spoon and fork on the walls. what's up with these shovel-large-spoons and pitch-fork-large-forks?

here's a good story that i've heard about them.

they are used in heaven as well as in hell. you'd think that in heaven you'll get an angel stuffing your fat face with grapes. no! you get big ass spoons and forks. same as in hell. so the problem is..., how the fuck do you eat with these utensils.

so what makes hell different from heaven?

in heaven, people are kind enough to spoon-feed their fellow men. you cannot feed yourself with these gigantic spoons, but you can feed your friend. and he can feed you. hence, the people in heaven are happier than those people in hell who only think of themselves, trying with all their might to feed themselves but won't ever succeed.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

My Tribute

my first post will be dedicated to those people who already passed away. no, i'm not about to go emo on this blog. these people are very dear to me and i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them.

first, my dad..., ah yes... the typical alpha-male. values order and thinking. a terror too. imagine yourself as a kid who gets whipped in the ass with a belt or a balloon stick.. (the sticks they use for stick-version-balloons sold in nearby churches. i learned to dislike balloons because of that)

i remember asking him to help me with my homework... "dad, could ya like answer these questions for me?" "read your book first, then ask me for help if still don't know the answers" *goes back to reading his religious articles* *me scratching my head and opening my book*

"do you still have a question?" "nah, i think i got it now"

second, my mom.., the do-it-all-for-her-kids-type-of-mom. ah yes, i lived the good life back then. she can cook, clean, and talk-a-lot just like the typical mom. she's the defender, and possibly the one who spoiled us. just like a super mom, fevers can't stop her.

simple and courageous.

last but certainly not least my uncle. my kabarkada in our house. thought me much about "diskarte" and used to tell me... "pagagawa mo na naman sa akin, paano kung wala na ako?" the alcoholic-and-sabongero-guy, but never loses control. my partner in crime.., i was his sidekick in catching pythons.. yes, we catch snakes together.. not that i help much) when these snakes come to eat the chicken that he breeds. he used to breed these "texas" chickens and i get to take care of the "bonsais."

so, here's to you guys.

i don't think i'll say too many "i-love-you"'s in this lifetime.

i love you guys. rest in peace.