Philippine Rabbit

Tsunami Scare

2011-03-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

Oh come on people! Enough with the TSUNAMI scare. It's not like you'd get your houses and asses washed away into the sea, you're in freaking Central Luzon dammnit. Get real. Stop copy-pasting nonsense just for the sake of updating your wall. Keep it real and just say a short prayer for all of us. Enough of this nonsense.

i dareth thee Poseidon, striketh my dry asseth with thy harmless sprinkles. my ass resides on the dryeth land of central luzon.

---

*repost from my facebook status

Babo Robot

2011-02-26T02:19:00.000-08:00

Babo Robot (on top of the Robot), Porac Pampanga

Violence Against Children on Facebook

2010-12-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

Stop changing your goddamned profile pictures with cartoon characters.

I quote: "Change
your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and
invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday (Dec.6) there should... be
no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is [a campaign to stop] (for)
violence against children.‌"

That’s a stupid CHAIN LETTER people! It became a success because of these factors:

1. PITY FOR CHILDREN (because you’re but human.)
2. BECAUSE IT’S COOL TO SEE cartoons from the 80's (and you’re a kid from the 80's.)
3. A DEADLINE (to pressure you into joining. --and for the author to see the results immediately.)

POINT #1: The author used your EMOTIONS (you fucked up little emo.) to captivate you. (this time a chain letter tried to use your emotions instead of fear and you’re unable to distinguish it.)

POINT #2: The author used a trendy/cool way to deliver his message. (“..BUT AN INVASION OF MEMORIES..” how does that connect to saving children? the author just wants to see toons from his/her own time.)

POINT #3: Why is there a DEADLINE? Is there “a SOMETHING DAY DEDICATED to CHILDREN on December 6th? None. Because your cause DOES NOT EXIST people. I don’t think the festival of St. Nicky is the one we’re looking for. If such a thing exists you would be directed to a website for more information/donations. See you can’t even name the organization.

There you have it, you stupid mindless flock of insignificant sheep.

Ragnarok Private Server

2010-11-25T21:36:00.000-08:00

Server Name: Porn-RO

URL: http://www.porn-ro.net

Rates:
125/80/60

Porn-RO is a mid rate Ragnarok Server (with custom Nude Sprites created by GM-Kisa) that offers a new experience.
We have a lot of Event-NPCs plus very friendly GMs who host events and provide support.
Since we care about balance, donors won't get any superstat, but some very nice custom hentai items.

THIRD CLASS AVAILABLE!!

Hope to see you on the server soon. Come bring your friends!

GM-Destruccion

New Endorser: Elly Tran Ha

2010-11-20T17:03:00.001-08:00

Meet Elly Tran Ha (Elly Kim Hong), the new endorser for philippinerabbit.

Ragnarok Online: Rune Knight

2010-11-20T16:21:00.000-08:00

Job: Rune Knight 150/50

Head: Large Baphomet Horns
Mid: Custom LKH Angel Wing
Lower: Custom LKH from Crunch Toast

Armor: Tao Gunka card
Shield: Thara Frog card
Robe: Deviling card
Foot: Antique Firelock card

Weapon: Combat Knife, Icepick, Brocca

Accessory01: 3rd Anniversary Ring
Acessory02: 3rd Anniversary Ring

Skills: Dragon Breath

Ragnarok Online: Shura

2010-11-20T16:13:00.002-08:00

Job: Shura 150/50

Head: Baphomet Horns
Mid: Custom LKH Angel Wing
Lower: Custom LKH from Crunch Toast

Armor: Tao Gunka card
Shield: Thara Frog card
Robe: Frilldora card
Foot: Lady Tanee card

Weapon: Lunakaligo [3], (2) Hydra cards (1) Skeleton Worker card

Accessory01: 3rd Anniversary Ring
Acessory02: 3rd Anniversary Ring

Skills: Asura Strike, Raising Dragon, Gentle Touch- Change

Ragnarok Online: Minstrel

2010-11-20T16:13:00.001-08:00

Job: Minstrel 150/50

Head: Large Baphomet Horns
Mid: Custom LKH Angel Wing
Lower: Custom LKH from Crunch Toast

Armor: Tao Gunka card
Shield: Thara Frog card
Robe: Raydric card
Foot: Green Ferus card

Weapon: Oriental Lute [2], (2) Hydra cards

Accessory01: 3rd Anniversary Ring
Acessory02: 3rd Anniversary Ring

Skills: Severe Rainstorm, Harmonize

Ragnarok Online: Genetic

2010-11-20T15:55:00.000-08:00

Job: Genetic 150/50

Head: Kiel D-01 card
Mid: Kiel D-01 card
Lower: Custom LKH from Crunch Toast

Armor: Tao Gunka card
Shield: Thara Frog card
Robe: Raydric card
Foot: Antique Firelock

Weapon: Bazerald

Accessory01: 3rd Anniversary Ring
Acessory02: 3rd Anniversary Ring

Skills: Acid Demonstration, Howling of Mandragora, Full Chemical Protection, Thorn Trap, Cart Boost

SCQ Ragnarok Cosplay

2010-11-20T03:33:00.001-08:00

(ABS-CBN) Star Circle Quest Fab 5 - We are the Stars (Ragnarok the Animation Opening Theme Tagalog Version)

Some pictures are worth preserving... Like this picture of Dara before she became part of 2NE1.

In this picture: Hunter Sandara Park, Swordsman Hero Angeles, Acolyte Melissa Ricks, Acolyte Joross Gamboa, and Crusader Roxanne Guinoo.

Elly Tran Ha

2010-10-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

I am so lazy right now.. but duty calls! Let there not be a blog without Elly Tran Ha. Remember: It IS YOUR responsibility.

There are only two reasons for Vietnam's existence (and why it's on the world map): Elly's Boobs

Rockin' It - Sun Valley Crew

2010-09-22T01:18:00.000-07:00

Rockin' It (The RoK! Remix)
Sun Valley Crew
Rok On

No one knows the real deal. Daytime it seems normal
Backpack filled with books going to class as usual
Prioritize academics is what my folks always tell me
Focus to excel and don’t ever get tempted
Little did they know that I was born to smell danger
The supernatural, god given power to fight evil
My go signal arises when the sun goes down
Call me the night crawler, my sword stay sharp to slice ‘em down
Adrenalin rushes, my mind, body and soul
Ginsu slice whoever wanna step up is my goal
Ready for battle, I got your territory mapped out.
Attack mode, move with caution, and knock ‘em out
That’s the way we Ragna-rock everybody in the system
Addicted to my rhythm ‘coz we bring it how you want it
Take a moment of your day to be a hero today
Born to be the king to fight evil in every way

This is the way we rock it, this is the way we make you move
Rock, Rockin’ it (4x)

Yo everyday I get up and do my routine
But when the sun goes down, you see me slowly become a king
Take control of an army and make ‘em move with one click
Get caught up in a game that makes my mind trip
I maybe soft spoken but I’m here to take over
Let everybody know that I will reign and I’m the ruler
This is my world, I own this time
Destroying anybody who would cross the line
Now it’s a fact, I’m one of the chosen few
The life I live outside that I share with my crew
Is just different from what I go through at night
It’s something more than usual, something I can’t describe
We put the level up every time we play this game
It’s not about the money, not even for the fame
I’ll see you in the battlefield when the night falls
Yo the Sun Valley Crew, we rockin’ it for y’all

This is the way we rock it, this is the way we make you move
Rock, rockin’ it (4x)

I can see y’all coming in all shapes and sizes
Get at me, I’m ready, I move strategic
Hit you where it hurts, it’s a never-ending curse
For my need to defeat all that you bring to the table
I can smell blood even if it’s just the first round
Swing ‘till I’m breathless, until you’re bleeding on the ground
It’s the king inside me that makes me fight for my people
Going full throttle until I bruise every knuckle

So now you’re asking me if it’s even possible
Create my own world and make it credible
Believe in what you see and let the light come through
Yo we rockin’ it, making you bounce, we making you move
I pray that our paths will never cross again
Never look behind ‘coz you will see where I began
To mess it up, all my people just stand up
This is the time to let ‘em know what’s up

This is the way we rock it, this is the way we make you move
Rock, rockin’ it (8x)

MVP - Seven Shots of Wisdom

2010-09-22T01:17:00.000-07:00

MVP
7 Shots of Wisdom
Rok On

Whoa we oh….whoa!!
...(Level Up!)
Whoa we oh….go!!

WAR!!
You know you had it comin'
Get ready for war
Better step up if you're asking for more
This is WAR!

I'm an MVP a boss of monsters
your guild ain't ready for this ragnarokster
you're an impostor, code name chicksilog
and I can see right through you like a crystal ball

I'm a thief in the night never weak when I strike
be scared for your life
'cause i'm quick with a knife
back up like a scammer man, I don't play fair
when I stick it to your chest you’ll be gaspin' for air
like HOOH AH…..HOOH AH….

Step step up...

I'm speaking ragnabonix
And ya’ll cats is balbonix
cross dressin' I got the skills to keep them guessin'
and I got one lesson so learn it well
I got a whole arsenal full of hurt you spells

Yo! Back once again its the king of the hill
Sicka than sick, iller than ill
I’ll face the best contender, you know me
I'm a veteran, N-O-O-B! this is

WAR!!
You know you had it comin'
Get ready for war
Better step up if you're asking for more
This is War!!

Step step up...

Don't clash with this titan
'cause im strong and Wafu
candy coated playas you soft like a waffle
I will chew you down like a Baphomet
don't battle me you should just go and surf the internet

Bring your set if you wanna step inside my game
get beat up and do the walk of shame
this battle will mess up your anatomy
MA to GM can't match my ability

Step step up...

HAHA!!!
I laugh out loud thinkin' you can track me down
I'm like an entity character so ask around
Who be the buffest? ASA! Quit ka na!
Balik ka na para patayin ulit kita!

Here’s a kiss goodbye
Steppin' to me you gonna risk your life
you’re BUBU thinkin' that your cats is WAFU
in fact your awful and your GUILD is weak
and when I hear the battle cry I'm gonna dance to the beat

Don't be confused it's us that you dealin' with
we got eagle eyes and we watchin' you
we got you hypnotized by the sound of the drummin'
that's to let you know that we comin'

And we go…
Whoa we oh….whoa..
Whoa we oh….whoa..

We go…
Whoa we oh….whoa..
Whoa we oh….whoa..

WAR!!
You know you had it comin'
Get ready for war
Better step up if you're asking for more
This is War!!

Happy IBFW!!

2010-08-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

This week, we observe the pinnacle of man's intellect. Yes, on this week, we the homo-sapiens, -the thinking man- were able to utilize our magnificent gray matter to establish a week commemorating an occasion that is without a doubt more historic and special than Christmas.

This week, we memorialize the devouring of the most scrumptious creation ever to exist on our lonely carbon-based planet.

And after this momentous week, we can proudly say that... 'My baby me breastfed me!'

http://www.waba.org.my/

The Last Airbender Review

2010-08-05T02:04:00.000-07:00

The movie sucked the Last Air Bison's ass. The story was weak, the characters were out of character, the visual treat was wanting. Half of the budget went to curry powder, the Fire Lord's own throne room didn't even have a decent fireplace. This is definitely Bollywood's finest. Jai Ho!

The Real Avatar Movie

2010-07-19T01:54:00.001-07:00

Yup, this is the real shit people! Avatar The Last Airbender will definitely kick that overrated and over-sized smurf butt.

Ambigram

2010-06-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Prayers

2010-06-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon:

where there is doubt, faith ;

where there is despair, hope

where there is darkness, light

where there is sadness, joy

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen. -St. Francis of Assisi

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. -Reinhold Niebuhr

Sewing and Cooking

2010-04-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

How the fuck does this thing have more parts than the human skeletal system?

Back in high school, we were forced to learn sewing and cooking. For me, Home Economics is comparable to Philippine History. You both learn them to survive after failing college.

Home Economics:
You can always make a living sewing and doing repairs on worn-out pants and shoes. You can also setup your own 'carinderia' and serve 'pangat' (pangatlong init) to tailors to make money.

Philippine History:
You wait for the May 2010 elections and vote for Noynoy Aquino because his parents are 'historical heroes'. You always blame the government for being corrupt when you yourself do not have a job nor pay taxes -- yet you demand assistance from the government like it owes you.

Hey, Oh, Hell...

2010-03-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

I’m currently employed in a company whose operations are housed inside a former bomb shelter/military base (10 years and counting). Yes, we are enclosed in the safest room on the planet, yet I have to disagree with this established fact (not to mention with the establishment itself).

Seconds after exposure, my skin reacted viciously to the conditioned air inside the company’s rooms. It feels like the building never tasted fumigation from the day it was erected.

I have never seen a cockroach crawl by so casually on the floor. Never have I been a smoke buddy with a mouse.

I’m not an expert when it comes to sanitation, so I guess it’s better to assume that we are unsuspecting guinea pigs for biochemical weapons being pumped continuously through the ventilation ducts. I’m just waiting for tentacles to randomly pop out from any part of my body so I can star on the next anime tentacle porn.

One of the key features of this company is that the workplace feels like Olympia. There are so many godly asses (or should I say assholes) to kiss. Another would be that the employees look like the peak (and only occurrence) of their sex life was during the first EDSA revolution (see: Woodstock, Free Boob Squeezing). Old? No, Timeless like the gods. Last but not least (and not even last since there’s no end to things that annoy me), the place reeks with the smell of the undead – the people whose glands quit working a decade ago.

There’s nothing to interest me, no nubile bodies to behold, no extravagant payslips, no promotion till a god becomes mortal and croaks.

Got Rice?

2010-03-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

For the past months, I’ve been trying to conquer one of the biggest obstacles that men face. And no, I am not referring to mothers-in-law or thinning hair. This discussion is about the mystic art that has baffled men for centuries. Yes, the art of cooking rice… -manually.

I have tried and failed countless times, still my cooking prowess would not permit me to cook rice devoid of delectable layers. Layer 1, the crust is composed of raw rice grains. Layer 2, the mantle, consists of gooey paste-like mush. Layer 3, the core, is undeniably firm, solid, and burnt.

Properly cooked rice is NOT similar to cakes. Cakes have layers. Ogres and Onions have layers. Rice does not.

That said, I, a being of high significance to this world and an undisputed creature that rests at the top of the food chain, concede to the supreme intellect of a household appliance.

Man, I need a fucking rice cooker.

Online Tutorials

2010-01-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

I'm currently looking into a job that aims to arm korean children with sufficient english comprehension, so they can read the evil english instructions located at the back of those despicable tetra packs.

Looking deeper, I've managed to gather vital information about Korea.

Here are some of the things that you would want to remember during a job interview:
National Sport: StarCraft and Ragnarok Online
National Hero: Cho Seung-Hui
National Food: Spicy Food (read: biochemical weapons) [Just the smell of authentic Kimchi can make you feel like you've been hit by anthrax]
National Anthem/Dance: Nobody

Politics...(Again)

2009-12-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

Friend: Are you registered to vote for the upcoming 2010 elections?

Me: Nope I haven't had the time to get myself registered... and honestly I’m really not into politics. All I do is whine about our third world country but I’m too lazy to do something about it. I just let the good ol' gov't get away with my taxes. How about you?

Friend: Oh bite your tongue! The real number one problem in this country, honestly speaking, isn't corruption; it's actually the hopelessness OR apathy of the Filipino people. If we live in a democratic country, shouldn't we then at least have the decency to act like it? We should at the very least be able to hold our future and our future children's future et cetera, et cetera. We were meant to live for so much more than be lax about how the unjust gets their way all the time. It’s not fair. It surely isn't decent either.

ehe. actually yan po ang sagot ko sa tanong ninyo. :D
i registered this year and i'm quite excited to vote! ^_^
i really believe that in voting for leaders in their position, we shouldn't just change the people, we should change the SYSTEM of how everything works out right, do you not think so? i guess what i'm trying to say is that this upcoming 2010 is going to be the beginning of a beautiful Philippines, that is, if we make the right choice in voting the right person to lead us. :D

Me: *drops the Gary-Valenciano-Martin-Nievera-English to sound more pinoy and to make this post comprehensible to simpletons who might accidentally stumble upon my site* ah! don't get me started on politics. you're right the system has to go. sa government kasi may kultura na sa loob, it's either sumunod ka or ikaw ang magmumukhang masama kasi di ka nakikisama sa corruption (sa mga taong nakikinabang sa position at power). yung mga nasa upper ranks ng government ipapakain ka sa media pag gumawa ka ng tama at di ka nakiride sa kanila. the only way to fix it, is bomb everyone and everything, media, politicians and their staff to ash! kaya may mga terrorista eh.

kidding aside, you're absolutely correct. now is the time to start everything right. i do admire your optimism. sana maalala lang ng mga kababayan natin na wala sa magaling na leader ang solution, nasa magaling na tagasunod. simpleng pagtawid lang nga sa daan at di pagyosi sa public places di natin masundan tapos pihikan pa tayo sa mga politicians. we had a great leader, ferdinand marcos was a great leader, wala nga lang gusto sumunod. instead, out of sheer emotion, inalis natin siya sa pwesto at binoto ang may bahay ng isang napaslang na senador (nasaan ang pagiging pihikan natin sa politicians doon?). and we got away with it. kaya everytime na ayaw natin sumunod, iniisip natin na may EDSA naman.. uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis...

Epic Fail

2009-12-11T11:10:00.000-08:00

Good morning class!! Today we are to discuss our country's history and current state. Here is a simple diagram of our country's timetable.

Lapu-Lapu > Mactan > Magellan > Spain > Yamashita > Japan > Mac Arthur > America > Marcos > Philippines.

History seemed to work things out for the best, but somehow some people managed to/have the uncontrollable urge to fuck things up. Take Noynoy and his followers for example (yes I am referring to YOU).

Pinoy A: Buhay ang demokrasya! Nandito pa si Noynoy. Ituloy ang laban.

Me: Come on guys, Mufasa died and Noynoy has not grown up to be Simba. Dodot Jaworski has not grown up to be a Robert Jaworski. I myself have not grown up to be as great as my dad was.

Pinoy B: Maybe not, but considering his family legacy, he’s not about to fuck things up. You’re not gonna make a mess of your family name right?

Me: Well he sure did take his time (Just like Rustom Padilla) before coming out. I mean Dad died. Mom died. Greatness died. Let’s reclaim it! I wouldn’t have waited for someone/something to die out if I was THAT great. Face it dudes, you guys never gave a drop of piss about democracy ‘till Cory Aquino died. You gave up the fight years ago and you never stood by Cory’s side when she was alive. I’ve never seen you wear a Ninoy shirt before Cory died.

I haven’t heard of Noynoy’s name in decades nor was I aware that he was in the senate. They never taught us in elementary school that the Great Ninoy Aquino had a son and that his heir had a birthright to lead our nation.

Now, the Philippines is inhabited by mainstream idiots like you (people who do not know what they want and let the media decide for them), let’s pick someone who knows her ropes. I daresay that Kris Aquino is 100% president material. She’s mainstream, knows what she wants, and can decide for you and James Yap.

Back in Ondoy, Kris Aquino thanked her endorsees for the millions of cash donations. She even asked help (read: taunted) from her endorsees’ competitors, made them pee in their pants, and earned half of the Marcos’ wealth in one day to help the flood victims. Now that’s president material ladies and gentlemen. Aquino, Mainstream, and Effective.

If Dr. Jose Rizal succeeded in making our country Spain’s colony, we’ll be masturbating to the RSJ (recall sabay jakol) images of hot Mexican chics next door and Aling Dionisia’s genes could have improved a lot. We could be eating corn instead of rice seasoned with Aling Dionisia’s ‘granules’. If the Japanese stayed here, we could have giant hentai tentacles run amok in our country instead of BB Gandang Hari and his kin. Our mainstream 3gp videos could have been hot Japanese AV porn instead of Aling Dionisia’s dance craze. Things could have been a lot better in our beloved country.

That’s Epic Failure for you.

At least Bigfoot was named ‘Bigfoot’. They got that right, instead of naming him after the smaller parts in his body; he was named after the big one. Imagine being named ‘Small Dick’ right?

Nobody

2009-07-31T02:03:00.000-07:00

Terror in the Men's Room

2009-04-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

One of the scariest places in a BPO building is the restroom. Just last night I almost bolted out of the damned room when I mistakenly took a long haired homo for a lady. This incident happened so many times in one night that it made me wonder why I always see him/her/it inside the lavatory. The demented thing probably just loves to look at its reflection to pass time. That, or he/she/it has an appointment with the toilet fairy.

Dear Sir, please be advised that toilet fairies do not exist. There is no DAMNED way that your tiny appendage could turn into a joy-hole by checking it every 30 minutes in the damned toilet. That process would require a scientific approach involving a body of water, a 300lb stone, and few meters of durable rope. May the Hindu God Ganesh, grant your wish and reincarnate you with the largest pussy on our planet (reincarnate you as an effin’ elephant).

Rest in Peace Kiko Magalona

2009-03-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Philippine International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta

2009-02-12T16:21:00.000-08:00

I will be at the Philippine International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta tomorrow. Yes. Unlike you, I won't be spending the infamous Valentine's Day in notorious motels. I'm not really into celebrating the so-called "lover's day" but just for the heck of it, I will.

You know it's hard work to force yourself to be interested in things that "lovers" share (i.e. saliva, orgasm juice, and various sexually transmitted diseases). Some people would rather spend Valentine's day with a box of pizza, six cans of beer, a roll of toilet paper, and watch streaming porn instead. But yeah, forcing yourself to act normal will make you socially acceptable. This may minimize the risk of going to jail or a mental ward.

My girlfriend asked me why, of all the venues to celebrate this special day, did I have to pick the Balloon Fest. Listed below are the reasons:

The Philippine International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta is made for uncreative boyfriends who would rather spend energy inside the bedroom rather than outside. (but were forced to anyway).
The Philippine International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta is made for gullible-enough-girlfriends who would rather flaunt their boyfriends out in the open rather than spend time inside the sanctity of their own bedroom.
Balloons, among all other things, promote safe sex. (see: colorful plastic balloons)

2nd Anniversary

2009-01-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

Today, January 07, 2009.

Dear readers:

philippinerabbit.blogspot.com is finally 2 years old!!

Many thanks to all the supporters, readers, critics, friends and the people/issues who/that fell victim to this blog.

I will try my best to post updates. But then again, you know how lazy I am.

Again, many many thanks. =)

Conejo
Author of Philippine Rabbit
http://philippinerabbit.blogspot.com/

Updates:

I moved to a different company. Screw my ex-employer. I am now doing Web Correspondence instead of answering calls. I am happier now. (And I am still broke).

Random:

Mommy Cathy: *Accidentally dropping her keys* "Ay! pooh cares!!"
Me: "Nasaan?! Patingin!"
JC: "Uy, sayang! Wala pang 5 minutes!!"

Untitled

2008-11-19T16:03:00.000-08:00

The nights we spent, the nights that we shared together,

Hold the memories that i'll cherish forever.

Endless nights i wish we could have danced.

Nights when your beautiful face i've glanced.

I began to wish that there would be a way,

Got down on my knees, i beg and i pray.

Have a night that would never end;

To dance like lovers with you again,

Slowly and romantically.. even though it's just pretend.

Waltz and dance with you forever i can.

Even though those nights were through,

Still in my heart i dance with you.

Play that music, please don't let go...

E, i wish to let you know,

Never in my heart will i dance with another,

Thank you for the nights we spent, the nights that we shared together.

---

i was searching my treasure box (box of old and useless stuff) this afternoon for an old highschool photo that i could give to my girlfriend and surprisingly, i found this old poem that i wrote. i have written lots of poems back when i was in highschool, and it is very fortunate for you, the reader, that i lost every single copy that i had (because you would only need to stomach one poem here in philippine rabbit).

i have written this poem for a girl that i used to court back then, her name is E. she was my partner in a cotillion. (we had to practice a lot during the night because i’m not really gifted with dancing skills.)

Circumnavigating the Globe

2008-11-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

victoria: dónde está el cuarto de baño?
trinidad: usted tiene pequeños pechos.
san antonio: cómo se dice "regla" en español?
concepción: amo Dora!!
santiago: pedo.

Mickey D's

2008-11-09T23:55:00.000-08:00

pap para papa... love ko `to!~

Ragnarok Online: Mastersmith

2008-11-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

job: mastersmith 99/70
buffs: blessing and increase agility

head: feather beret
mid: maya purple card
lower: gentleman's pipe

armor: tao gunka card
shield: thara frog card
robe: aliot card
foot: moonlight flower card

weapon: phreeoni, incantation samurai, zipper bear cards

accessory01: medalion (merchant)
acessory02: horong card

skills: high speed cart ram.

notes:

cart termination!!

Ragnarok Online: Champion

2008-11-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

job: champion 99/70
buffs: blessing and increase agility

head: kathryne keyron card
mid: clock tower manager card
lower: gangster mask

armor: marc/roda frog
shield: thara frog card
robe: frilldora card/morpheus's shawl
foot: variant shoes

weapon: hydra cards, skel worker card.

accessory01: zerom card
acessory02: zerom card

skills: asura strike, body relocation, stop blade, pneuma, ruwach, blessing, increase agility.

notes:

asura strike!!

Ragnarok Online: Paladin

2008-11-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

job: paladin 99/70
buffs: blessing and increase agility

head: poo poo hat
mid: permeter card
lower: iron cain

armor: archdam card
shield: thara frog card
robe: aliot card
foot: freezer card

weapon: hydra cards, skel worker card.

accessory01: heater card
acessory02: vesper core 04

skills: shield chain, holy cross, auto-guard, reflect shield, defender.

notes:

with this hybrid build, you dont have to worry about safety wall, pneuma, and ghost property opponents.

card combo info:
INT + 1
STR + 1
DEF + 2
SP Recovery + 10%
Inflict 10% more damage with Shield Chain and Sacrifice.
Reduce Casting Time by 10%.

[Crusader, Paladin]
Blesses an Armor with the Holy Property.

Ragnarok Online: Lord Knight

2008-11-09T17:34:00.000-08:00

job: lord knight 99/70
buffs: blessing and increase agility

head: poo poo hat
mid: vanberk card
lower: iron cain

armor: evil druid card
shield: thara frog card
robe: wanderer card
foot: wild rose card

weapon: the paper card, hydra/orc skeleton cards.

accessory01: dancing dragon card
acessory02: shinobi card

skills: bowling bash, spear boomerang, two-hand quicken, parry, aura blade, concentration, berserk.

notes:

with this build you can have 180aspd (w/o buffs) to 181aspd (w/buffs) when using a two-hand sword and there is also a good boost in walkspeed because of the card combo.

card combo info:
AGI + 5
STR + 5
Intimidate Auto-Spell will not function.
Increases Attack Speed by 5%.
Movement Speed + 5%
Gain 1 SP every time when attacking.

Take You There - Sean Kingston

2008-11-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

YO!!!!
WAT A GWAAN!!!
WAT A GWAAN!!!
HAHA!!!
HO!!!!
SEAN KINGSTON!!!
J.R.!
MONEY!!!

[Chorus]
We can go to the tropics
Sip piña coladas
Shorty I could take you there
Or we can go to the slums
Where killas get hung
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there

Baby girl I know it's rough but come wit me
We can take a trip to the hood
It's no problem girl it's my city
I could take you there(take you there)
Little kid wit guns only 15
Roamin' the streets up to no good
When gun shots just watch us, run quickly
I could show you where

As long as you're wit me
Baby you'll be alright
I'm known in the ghetto
Girl just stay by my side(my side)
Or we can leave the slums go to paradise
Babe it's up to you,
It's whatever you like

[Chorus]
We can go to the tropics
Sip piña coladas
Shorty I could take you there(OH!!)
Or we can go to the slums
Where killas get hung
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there

Shorty come wit me it's no worry
I know the bad men them where I stay
Police fly pursuit in a hurry
This is no gun play
Don't be scared I know the West Indies
It's Jamaica, that's where I'm from
Might see something you're not used to
Welcome to the slums

As long as you're wit me
Baby you'll be alright
I'm known in the ghetto
Girl just stay by my side
Or we can leave the slums go to paradise
Babe it's up to you,
It's whatever you like

[Chorus]
We can go to the tropics
Sip piña coladas
Shorty I could take you there(I could take ya there..take ya)
Or we can go to the slums
Where killas get hung
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there

Or we (or we)
Can go (can go)
To a place (to a place)
I know you gon' like (oh oh oh)
The beach (the beach)
The breeze (the breeze)
West Indies, I call it paradise

[Chorus]
We can go to the tropics
Sip piña coladas
Shorty I could take you there
Or we can go to the slums
Where killas get hung
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya (I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take ya (I could take ya...)
I could take ya(I could take ya...)
Shorty I could take you there

Untitled

2008-10-31T23:40:00.000-07:00

i know what you're thinking... is that a swamp? --a marsh?.. or a bog?

wrong. that, my friend is what saved me from starvation. believe it or not, that wetland-in-a-pot is called sinigang.

and it's the best damned sinigang in the world, because my girlfriend cooked it for me.

Bread Dead Pork Chops

2008-10-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

for the past few days, i found myself hating something that i really really like.

sandwiches.

yes, sandwiches. that would be <bread>spread, cheese, dressings, veggies, and meat</bread> or for the people who aren't really familiar with codes, what the fuck is wrong with you? don't you know what a sandwich is?

i have been on (an involuntary) sandwich diet now for the past few days. this is because my elder sister observed that we (in the family) were wasting rice. due to our busy and ever-changing schedules, our rice consumption is not that consistent; resulting in a lot of left-overs.

so the solution was:
fix-it-yourself-or-die-from-starvation-sandwiches.

i have nothing against sandwiches, as i have already mentioned, i am a fan of sandwiches. burgers, subs, and what-nots. and i do not blame my sister for her decision, it's actually very beneficial since i need to go on a diet anyway.

and i hope that she does not come across my site, else who knows what i'll be eating next (or if i would still be allowed to dine at our table for that matter).

going back to the topic, i fucking need rice. yes, i. fucking. need. it.

it was said that "man does not live by bread alone", i coudn't agree more. i am an asian. asians need rice like plants need water. here in fucking asia, we do not call sandwiches lunch, we call them snacks.

and one more thing, fuck ~~bakeline~~ local bread loaves. those things are 60% air and 40% melamine. i'm not really sure if i'm still making sense, so i might as well end this article before this diet ends my life.

maaaan, i should have learned how to cook. my raw survival instincts tell me that i better learn how to cook soon, else i would need to find a better job and a good wife.

p.s. if this continues and i die i from starvation, i don't want to go to heaven. i want to go to mang inasal or tokyo tokyo instead.

Origami

2008-10-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

after reading redkinoko's article on internet porn, i came to a conclusion that:

some things are best left to the japanese... things that require masterful art like origami and bukkake.

why you ask? let's see you fold a goddamned piece of paper and call it art. can't do it? i thought so.
you see, the last time that i recall folding a piece of paper in the most fucked up way possible was when i received an exam paper marked 8/100.

and we both don't have hot japanese girlfriends. so tough luck.

Beware of Ninjas

2008-10-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

i was on my way to work when i suddenly noticed this electric post infront of our house. i grew paranoid when i saw this yesterday. --ninjas could be spying on me while im browsing my favorite asian pornsites. and if you take time to analyze, the konoha village insignia is scribbled on an unreachable spot. that means these guys are for real... be afraid.. be very afraid...

Medical Exam

2008-09-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

mandatory medical exams at work can be a bitch. and drug tests are one of the few tests that i am quite positive that i am positive. hell, i bet i can even get an A+ for this test. when it came to our attention, me and my co-workers started discussing about drinking gallons of water/fruit juices/vinegar (if you happen to be a goat you might want to reconsider before getting yourself drowned with vinegar.) and getting overdosed with aspirin tablets.

and there is actually a test that would require you to take off your clothes so that the doctor can examine your privates. well, im not actually fond of flashing my jewels for other people and i don't think that you should be viewing my sausage if you don't have the intention of putting it in your mouth. the only people who are given the privilege to view my monstrosity are the ones who are ready to get nailed after disturbing/desecrating the sanctity of my mighty member. please don't touch the merchandise and keep off the grass.

maaaan, fuck med exams.

We Are the Monk!!

2008-08-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

The Lonely Ascetics...

"As the representative of God on this Land"
"As tribunal that impose the penalty of God"
"We are the Monk"
"And Our mission is"
"To utilize the extreme limit of our bodies"
"To pursue and attack utterly"
"To completely destroy"
"The violator of God"
"The body of a Foolish Man"
"An Aimless Wandering Human Body"

"To Pass On the Commandments of God"
"We take pride for possession of our body"
"For we are the Monk"
"Tribunal that impose the penalty of God"
"The representative of God on this land"
"As the Monk we have this mission"
"To pursue, attack and completely destroy"
"The violator of God"
"The body of a Walking Dead"
"The corpse of a foolish man"

"Judgment to the violator of God!"
"End for the violator of God!"
"The violator of God shall be banished!"
"We, are the Monk"
"As the representative of God on this land"
"As tribunal that impose the penalty of God"
"We give out blood and flesh to God's glory"
"To bring the violators of God to Justice"
"Even our flesh and bones part with bodies"
"For everything is to the honor of God"

I seek the path of enlightenment
We monks shall hold true to what we believe
And will help protect others
Through the teachings we learn through our lives
In nomine Patris, et Filii et Spiritus Sancti

And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritūs Sancti.

Back to the Basics

2008-08-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

[09:45]conejodelicioso: i've been constipated for months now.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: i think i need to be more "human"
[09:45] Ju: i know its annoying.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: like go sleep, eat, and have a gf.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: that'll probably set things right.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: and make me shit or something.
[09:45] Ju: i know
[09:45] Ju: have you found someone to settle down with?
[09:46] conejodelicioso: no.
[09:46] conejodelicioso: but i'd give it a try if that'd make me shit
[09:46] conejodelicioso: i remember back then i always had the urge to take a crap (involuntarily) each time my gf scares the shit outta me.
[09:46] conejodelicioso: like "hun, im two weeks late"
[09:47] Ju: ahahahaha
[09:47] Ju: ah the call to fatherhood
[09:47] conejodelicioso: fuck you ju. im staying in marlboro country with wild horses, men and cigarettes.
[09:47] Jur: omgeee
[09:47] Ju: you like men
[09:47] conejodelicioso: that didn't come out right.
[09:48] Ju: and WILD horses
[09:48] Ju: i know
09:50] Ju: so wasts new in ur lyf anyway
[09:50] conejodelicioso: nothing's new.. i can't blog, i cant shit, i cant sleep.
[09:50] conejodelicioso: godeffindamnit.
[09:50] Ju: you need to shit 1st if you want to sleep
[09:51] Ju: so you need to relax 1st
[09:51] conejodelicioso: i need to relax.. meaning i need to have sex and sleep.
[09:51] Ju: exactly
[09:51] conejodelicioso: then i'd crap after the girl tells me she's 2 weeks late.
[09:51] conejodelicioso: sounds like a plan ju.
[09:51] Ju: but i think you've been chaste
[09:51] Ju: hmm...
[09:52] Ju: it is
[09:52] conejodelicioso: work is inversely proportional to sex my friend.
[09:52] Ju: any targets?
[09:52] conejodelicioso: i wish i had the time.
[09:52] conejodelicioso: for now im just trying to catch up on my sleep.
[09:54] Ju: you need to poop 1st
[09:54] Ju: dammit.

Born Leader

2008-08-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

i was once asked what would i do differently if i were to lead this country.

the answer is simple, i would rule with an iron fist and a woody cock (especially in the early morning). then again, pitting iron against wood is not a good thing.

anyway, i'd make sure to punish even the smallest crimes/misdemeanor. some examples of these are jaywalking, littering, peeing on somebody else's walls/electric posts, wearing ghutras just for fashion's sake, and not participating in ragnarok online's war of emperium just because ~~you are a pussy~~ your ~~imaginary~~ girlfriend did not give you permission to do so. (yes, you! you pussy!)

emo hairstyle is not a tolerable crime, this crime should be punishable by death.

these lesser crimes will be punishable by nail pulling. imagine a very peaceful land, nail-less but disciplined people, and starving homosexual manicurists/pedicurists.

in just one step i am able to eliminate the ~~fashionistas~~ faggots and undisciplined brutes who threaten our country's order and decency.

Update

2008-08-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

update: due to insistent public demand, philippinerabbit ~~was forced~~ has finally added a new link list. if you do see your site on my list, please be reminded that this is not for free and i will be charging you guys 90 pesos per month. (just kidding!)

kidding aside, all my internet/real life buddies are eligible to be added on this list for free (provided that your blog makes sense). else, you would really need to pay me the 90 bucks.

Good Morning... (My Everyday Struggle)

2008-08-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

it's 2am in the morning and it's time to start the day. after clicking snooze 5 times on my nokia, i finally force myself to get up.

suddenly, i hear nature summon me and i dash to the bathroom and take my rightful seat on the frozen throne, the ice-cold ceramic throne of destruction.

for breakfast, i know that i only have two options. colgate or hapee. there's food on the table but i wouldn't want to hear taunting "woo!" summons from nature boy anytime soon so i'll pass.

it's still dark outside and i have to walk some distance to find a jeepney. while walking, rain suddenly pours and i make a run for it. our subdivision's pavement is always elegantly decorated with dog shit and water puddles. so when it rains, the dog shit dissolves and mix with the puddles, this phenomenon make things more exciting while running for cover.

soaked, cold, and dripping wet, i finally board a jeepney. here's a little list of people that you usually sit with in a jeepney at around 3am.

drunk-ass bastards who had too much to drink. -these sorry ass mofos are usually broke and they often "forget" to pay for the fare. and they usually vomit on the floor/person seated next to them if the ride gets too bumpy. but some of these people are actually decent enough to swallow their own puke.

beerhouse girls -they usually come in pairs. girl-girl pairs usually go home to rest. however the girl-boy pairs usually go to motels or to the boy's bachelor pad. some are discreet and pretend not to know each other, and some can't wait and they tend to get hot on the jeep.

wet market vendors -you usually don't get to sit next to them because you'll be sitting next to whatever they are selling. like heaps of fish and vegetables.

people like me -these people fake their nationality and accents to make a living, eat "lunch" at 8:00am in the morning and have their "dinner" at around 4pm. they don't follow a regular schedule for taking a dump like normal people do, and they usually take a crap during work breaks.

people like me also have to be nice to 2008-olympics-frustrated-americans and agree with them that "china is indeed cheating/faking". you know what? go fuck your tv, your chips, and your couch you "athletic olympian". and fuck yahoo and those ~~americanized~~ biased blogs about the olympics.

i need to board another jeep to be able to reach my destination. from a few meters away, i see a stranger.. a man smiling.. --and with demonic speed he approaches me... he stares me in the eyes with an evil grin..

that is when i realize that i just missed the last jeepney. the man's tricycle roars and i curl up into a ball like a bullied kid who just lost his lunch money.

my teammates greet me "good morning" and i smile back.

epilogue:

"pare, alam mo ba kung nasaan si pedro?"

"di eh, di ba pagkatapos nating naginuman eh pumunta siya sa pad ni juan?"

"di ata chong, tinext ako ng asawa niya wala naman daw siya doon kina juan"

"di kaya may masamang nangyari?"

"baka sumakabilang bahay na siya..."

"may masama nangang mangyayari"

The Awakening

2008-08-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

ah yes, its been a while since i've updated my blog. im really sorry for the lack of updates, but i've been so ~~lazy~~ busy lately that i haven't had the chance to update.

so yeah, i just came back from the real world. and i have relearned some of the things that a typical working pinoy has to put up with.

one is, i actually spend more money on transportation than food. more money on coffee than food (to be discussed on the later part of the post). more money on taxes than prepaid cell cards.

with regard to economics, the fast-rising gasoline prizes can actually compete with the speed at which our local squatter's area are able to produces babies. and it makes me wonder how fishball vendors and photocopy machine operators actually survive in our country.

you see, these people only make 50centavos per piece of fishball/a page. and the prices stayed the same. even way before i have grown pubes.

who knows, fishballs may be the solution to world hunger. it's cheap, cost-effective, and we have a ready supply. for 50centavos a piece who'd grow hungry?

going back to the coffee part of the blog. there was this one time that my friends were actually able to convince me to have a cup of coffee in star bucks. i was never a fan of coffee/sweets. but yeah, they're the ones paying for it so why not?

why not have a taste of the million-dollar coffee that is famous for turning your regular pinoy idiot into an english speaking fil-am (feeling amerikano). the starbs coffee is also known for turning your typical bourgeoisie kid into a very "techie" information technology expert. with all he gadgets and laptops, it's a crazy world out there. i was actually waiting for someone to brag about his acer ferrari or his asus lamborghini laptop. sadly, not a soul there was "leet" enough to have one.

but me, i'll be waiting for some chinese electronics company to collaborate with sarao motors. who knows, in a few months i'll be mooching off star buck's wifi with a pensonic/sany sarao laptop.

Bambino!

2008-05-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

i haven't been updating lately because i really don't have anything good enough to post. and i have been busy finding my way (read: keep getting lost) around a foreign city that's just 45 minutes away from my home town. plus, im heartbroken.

-------
WARNING: PERSONAL (READ: BORING) POSTS AHEAD!!
-------

if you do not wish to read about my so-called life please return tomorrow for the usual funny posts.

okay, if you're still with me, i'll start this post with the getting lost part.

i have been looking for work (again). yes, you heard it right, bumming season is over. i have been applying for work in the city of san fernando, and given my potential to get lost in my own backyard, it takes me quite some time to get to my destination and back. that's why i haven't been updating, transporting from here to there eats up my precious hours of existence in this world.

it's as easy as following the yellow brick road. the jeepney doesn't make any turns, the journey can be summarized in three words, "keep going straight". but that's what makes remembering the journey hard. so fuck it.

what did i apply for? well you'll find out as you read along.

flashback: two months ago, i finally got my dream job. i was accepted as a web editor/developer for small company. the road to get there was to pass a series of tests and interviews and beat 6 guys (other applicants) with your impressive resume and skills. we fought for one slot, for the company junior programmer. in the end, it was i who triumphed.

back in my highschool days, i was already scripting shit, back when prepaid internet cards (dial-up) were still popular. i wrote my own color/commands scripts for mIRC and i have released two beta versions, sadly the said copies were lost. the script did not gain much popularity but my friends loved it and used it. next were custom maps/campaigns for star craft. i remember making a star wars themed campaign which contained 20-30 maps, a thousand triggers, the works. my friends also thought the campaigns were pretty good.

i was so hurt when i turned down that job a few minutes after they called and informed me that i made it. the job was fun, the workplace was just a tricycle away, the salary was reasonable, and my co-workers were mostly 34-36B's . the senior programmer would teach me new languages and stuff. it's like learning what you like and you're getting paid for it.

sadly i have to give these up for...

faking my accent and nationality for a living. yes, fated like a true blooded information technology pinoy student. i wanted to be a bad ass programmer but my older sister told me to get a high salary job. i couldn't do anything because she's my mother/elder sister now. and i guess she knows best.

me: man, i'm still not psyched up for my new job.

friend: look at the bright side man, the world has two countries that predestine their people for that kind of work. one is the philippines and the other one is india.

me: good, those american bastards can easily mistake me for an indian. that's very comforting.

friend: i didn't mean it that way. look they share the same fate as you.

me: *in an indian accent* noh sehr, i um unh american!! i du nut eat curry. death to cows. long live big macs.

man , i just hate being in a business that provides assistance to idiotic high-and-mighty americans, greencard holders, and fil-ams (read: fil-ling amerikanos).

but there's nothing i can do about it.

so there... expect me to stab a random person a few months from now.

he who cannot focus on his work does not have the right to talk about his dreams. -from the jdrama bambino!

Dony Stark

2008-05-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

after reading redkinoko's review on the ironman movie, i immediately considered my stuff-to-do if i were to live my life as a rich asshole like tony stark.

the first thing on my list would be:
one night stands with reporters/broadcast journalists.

here is a list of the possible candidates:

susan enriquez. that pose is just captivating.

jessica soho. she has the arms of a tyrannosaurus rex.

and the best for last. the art angel babe, pia arcangel. <3

ating mundo'y gawing makulay!!~

Bee Gone

2008-05-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

friend: dude, what do you have against (a talking) jollibee?

me: GMO. (genetically modified organism)

talking to jollibee is like zaido to shaider... a fucking disaster.

404 Brain Not Found

2008-04-30T23:45:00.000-07:00

yesterday after deleting annoying apps invitations in friendster, i wanted to log out but instead, i accidentally clicked on a random language translation link. some idiot web editor thought that people really do give a fuck about having friendster translated into a language that nobody cares about.

i'm quite sure that the people from india and indonesia don't give a damn about it either. im sure they'd rather deal with the problem of hamburgers and scattered cow shit than to stay and marvel at the translated pages in friendster.

you guys should be fired and castrated just to make sure this doesn't happen again.

if we tolerate idiocy, it will become a norm, and if it becomes a norm... then, *boom!!* we're back in the fucking stone age.

The Prophecy

2008-04-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

if there ever was a boyband that foresaw the coming of the gay era it would be these guys. meet the nostradamus of gayness-- savage garden.

these guys prophesied the coming of brokeback mountain.

truly, madly, deeply.

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.(if you need a woman, he can be one too.)--

'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.(a new life out of the closet is more like it.)
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.(well emos like yaoi guys are into deep meanings.)--

I want to stand with you on a mountain.(you bet he's foretelling the coming of brokeback!)
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...--

I'll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..--

The tears devour you..--

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you.(i think he's referring to an erect penis)
All that you need will surely come...

i'll try to research if they prophesied something about albus dumbledore. then again, i won't. this is too much for me.

fuck savage garden.

remember: camaraderie and yaoi are two different things.

end of post.

The Mad Scientist

2008-04-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

back in elementary school, i favored my science subjects among all other subjects. it was fun to discover, experiment, and invent. i even had dreams of becoming a bad-ass villain who uses high-tech stuff to take over the world.

but i didn't know what i should invent to show that i mean business.

but last night, it became clear to me.

i was plotting against that guy who thought it would be cool to make jollibee mascots talk when an idea hit me.

i would like to name this plot as: taking over the world (part 1)

there would be two stages for my evil scheme.

first stage: invent something that would help mankind.

behold my (future) invention... *drum roll*... the electronically operated intestines or "elopin".

with this invention, lbm (loose bowel movement) can be prevented. you won't have to deal with the urge of taking a crap at a bad time. with this device you can schedule the time for your next dump.

cool invention huh?

this invention will sell like cellular phones and everybody in the world will be using them.

after a few years i will move to the--

second and final stage:
create a massive emp (elecromagnetic pluse) shockwave and watch the poor unsuspecting victims shit involuntarily.

muahahahahaha!! >:)

Shocking Truth

2008-04-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

as a kid, i was made to believe a lot of stupid things.

like a fat man in red gives gifts to good little kids without the intention of molesting them later on.

some fetish fairy will exchange cash for teeth. and that beating up classmates for their teeth wont get me money.

when i found out the truth, i wasn't shocked. i can say i handled the truth pretty well. i wasn't even shocked when i saw this:

yep, that'd be my homie jabee doin his night thang.

it's natural for a busy bee to get busier after a good day. not surprising at all.

but when i watched an episode of jollitown (aired on gma7 every sunday at 9:30am), i was broken... i was freaked out of my mind... jollibee can talk?!

it's freaky i tell you. as a kid i watched jollibee dance and hug children. he was perfect the way he was, why did they make him talk?

to whoever had the idea of making him talk, fuck you sir.

p.s.
for this reason, im not taking my (future)kids to that fast food restaurant anymore.

Balloon Fight

2008-04-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

serious part: (to be taken seriously)

april 22, 2008

BRASILIA (Reuters) - A Brazilian priest is missing after he drifted out to sea while trying to set a record for a flight using helium-filled party balloons, authorities said on Tuesday.

Father Adelir Antonio de Carli began his flight suspended in a harness-like seat from 1,000 balloons of various colours on Sunday in the southern port of Paranagua. He had intended to fly 20 hours due west but unexpected winds carried the 42-year-old Roman Catholic priest out over the south Atlantic on a south-easterly course.

please pray for him.

(silence)

---

comedy part: (not to be taken seriously)

once again, a great man sacrificed himself for the good of his specie. let us not let his efforts go to waste. i believe that he risked his life to find a new way of disposing evil men and politicians.

yes, by evil men i mean those people who hoard and overprice rice.

i hope this is what happens to them.

Happy Birthday Indeed

2008-04-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

this is the music video summary of what happened last night. many thanks to all my kabarkada, my best bud rainier, and to all the people who wished me a wonderful birthday. regular blogging will resume soon. that is after i overcome laziness (again) and after i excrete the excessive amounts of alcohol in my system right now.

but don't worry, i still have blood in my alcoholstream.
that's a good thing, right doctor?

This is for You Mama

2008-04-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

the story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the christmas tree.

nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said "this is for you mama."

the mother was embarassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. she spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"

she had tears in her eyes and said, "oh mama, it's not empty! i blew kisses in it until it was full." the mother was crushed. she fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and begged for her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.

----
*author unknown

The Fossil Fuel

2008-04-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

conejo: i was actually asking him to introduce me to somebody sensible enough for my taste.
conejo: but alas it had to be a 17 year old.
makoto: wow, you're 23... you're like.. ancient...
conejo: i am a fossil.. in a few years, your car will be burning me at Php100.00 per gallon.

gah, my birthday is coming. somebody stop the aging!!

The Monsters of Ragnarok Online

2008-03-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

one of the most feared monsters in ragnarok online is the cock tower manager.

a male, who was born with a penis but for some strange reason he desires yours too. and he claims to be a female ingame. but don't worry you can easily identify these bad guys.

here are some hints:

their friendster profile features a very hot japanese girl.
they will ask for your phone number before you can even think of asking for theirs.
they are sweeter than most girls and they actually care more about you than their friendster profile.

remember: (sad to say) a "real" girl (nowadays) only thinks of her friendster profile and the online attention that she's getting.

Friendster (Again)

2008-03-26T19:30:00.001-07:00

to my friendster buddies, if it can be avoided, please stop sending me apps. i can customize my page just fine. it was meant to be plain, simple, and boring. i like it the way it is. plus i know html better than you code-generating-copy-pasting fags.

i don''t know if it is automatically forwarded but please, if possible, please exclude my name whenever you forward apps. its like covering your nose and mouth whenever you sneeze. please remember that not everybody can appreciate your generosity in sharing airborne microbes.

i have no idea because i don't approve/make use of apps. if there is an "ignore all" function or something that can stop the spam, please notify me. i would really appreciate it.

since i have started to rant about friendster, here's something that has been bugging me lately:
some people can browse friendster for 8-12 hours straight. i can understand if they can find good bulletins/blogs/posts. but we're talking about friendster here people, a whore for anything and everything that's copy-pasted.

and sending blown-up images of yourself do not equate to writing a testimonial/comment for your friend.

and i don't get it why some people stay online and wait for private messages in friendster and tagboards. don't we have chatrooms and instant messengers (read: real-time) for that?

Untitled

2008-03-26T04:48:00.001-07:00

03/26/08

boyhood dreams often aim for greatness and fame. yes, even albus dumbledore fans aim to be great beauticians in the future. it is natural for a guy to live his life trying to realize greatness. whether it be work or play, we always go for supremacy. perhaps this is a law of nature, every male has a dream of becoming a king.

back then, i played ragnarok online like my whole world depended on it. no, i believed that the world depended on me to play ragnarok online.

it feels good whenever my name climbs up to the top of the list, as i take down anybody (and everybody [yes, i "pk" innocent bystanders]) who would dare stop me from being the best sniper in pRO urdr.

after the dust settled, i finally claimed the title of a legend. but only after i lost my (ex)girlfriend.

she left me because of my addiction to the game. i didn't really care because i was blinded by all the attention that i got when i played. my friends depended on me during woe, bosshunts, and pk. somebody had to take the lead, somebody had to stand infront of the enemies and put fear in their hearts. somebody had to lose his girlfriend and dedicate himself to the guild, and that somebody had to be me.

after reigning supreme in ragnarok, i had a longing for something... or maybe i was looking for somebody to share my happiness with. i wanted to go home after proving myself. after the end of the seemingly endless battles, after the glory and fame, and after the dust settled, i had nobody. and i had nothing.

we males crave for the thrill of the hunt... the road to get there excites us... but after it has been said and done, we will have a desire to go back home. there will always be a question of:

for whom and with whom do i share it?

today, just for today, i will admit that i have made a mistake, that i do long for you.

and i am sorry that we couldn't finish the movies because i had to attend the wednesday woe in pRO. i am sorry that i have been such a lousy boyfriend. and most of all i am sorry for losing the sweetest and best cook that i have ever known.

damn i miss your carbonara.

i doubt that you will ever visit my site, but for what it's worth,

happy birthday. =)

Living Fossils

2008-03-24T04:23:00.000-07:00

kids nowadays are learning their values from total failures like emo bands.

these guys fail to look like goths and only succeed in looking like wimps. these guys are the sissy version of goth, much like the watered-down version of coca-cola softdrinks in fiestas.

goths kill kittens, emos cry when kittens are killed.

nowadays, superiority is no longer the measure of a man's greatness. rather, it is his inability to STFU that makes him attractive to the opposite gender (and in most cases his own). and his ultra-tight pants that would not allow the linear expansion of his rod (considering that it has not withered due to atrophy.)

ladies and gentlemen,
in order to prevent our society from rotting away, my proposal is that we get these kids back to school, and have them learn from the living fossils.

yes, old teachers are the key in the renaissance of common decency. i think old people are fun. especially when they whack the living shit out of hard-headed students with erasers and rulers, (in worst-case scenarios, bitch-slaps).

back when i was in elementary, teachers made it a point that we listen, learn and stfu. failure to comply meant a lashing.

some examples of these are:
long, dirty, and untrimmed fingernails get hammered down by a wooden ruler.
if anyone hides the truth/steals, the whole class squats for 30minutes.

one of our teachers (who was a taekwon-do black-belt) actually smashed a hole right through a classroom blackboard when he got pissed off.

our teachers implemented discipline and decency through pain and fear. something that is rare in these times. kids don't get beat anymore and whining is tolerated. because pain and fear are scarce, they (the emo kids) just make believe that they experience it.

Baog Note

2008-03-21T02:39:00.000-07:00

yagami light was given a death note by the death god named ryuk. the said notebook is very lethal and efficient.

then there is the philippine version of the death note called "baog note". less lethal than the death note but it is as effective in changing the world into a better place. this note was given to delicioso conejo, by the death god called pepe smith (who is as good as dead but as immortal as a god).

the first rule of the baog note:

"any human whose name is written in this note shall lose the ability to produce an offspring."

the death note is so efficient (like the japanese people) that it takes effect after 40 seconds, however the baog note, will only take its effect after 40 minutes. (this is because of "filipino time")

this is a feasible solution for overpopulation, plus it is also humane for it does not take the person's life. but rather it forfeits his/her ability to infect and degenerate other people's good genes.

idiots, emos, and fashionistas will lose their ability to procreate and the homosexuals won't really give a fuck if their names were indeed written on the note, since they are really not into baby-making. so there, everyone should be happy and i have made a perfect world.

No Dandruff

2008-03-16T07:01:00.001-07:00

the seduction of black. lol.

Substandard Quality

2008-03-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

i played in a ragnarok online private server where people always end their sentences with "la". the server that i played on shut down after attempting to update to "the morocc, nightmare of midgard".

my guess is that these singaporeans fucked up the scripts by using la instead of } or ;.

in terms of quality, they can be compared to dodot jaworski and kiddie crayons.

yes, as you may have guessed, this article is totally random and pointless.

good day to all.

Childhood Frustration (Fecal Content Part 2)

2008-03-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

back in my childhood, toys were a bit expensive and their prices are quite unreasonable (considering that kids will just smash them after 2-3hrs after they get their hands on them. [yes, even if they are made out of the highest grade of titanium alloy.]) matchbox cars, lego and remote controlled vehicles were my biggest frustration (for my parents never bought me these).

oh, and china hasn't discovered lead back then, so goodluck in finding cheap toys.

my parents bought me toys every once in a while, but what i usually do for fun back then was to play with the earth's elements. i remember how i used to burn(fire) anything with a pack of "guitar matches", how i played with bubbles(wind) made with gumamela flowers, (water) and laundry detergent. how i soiled my clothes while playing on the ground(earth).

but if you happen to be a bad-ass action star like caesar montano, you would have missed such activites. i assume that he played with big boy toys (like: women, cigarettes, alcohol, leather jackets and exploding cars) at such a young age that's why he became a bad-ass action star.

maybe that's why he separated with his hot wife and went back to playing with water. maybe it's a childhood frustration of his.

lesson learned: don't be in a rush to grow up and enjoy life.

Fecal Content

2008-03-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

need i elaborate? for the picture says it all.

let me just add a little more stuff before i end this article. (yes, i am too lazy to write anything but that's not the point)

wet shirts only look hot on women with wet and perky nipples.

---
credits to mr. jonas espinosa for helping me chase this truck to the ends of the earth. hah! i finally got a photo! :p

From Bad To Worse

2008-03-03T15:43:00.000-08:00

last night's super storm really made a mess of things. the streets got flooded, there were UFO's (unidentified floating objects) everywhere, it was cold and many people got wet.

i was about to go home but i got stranded because of the sudden pour of the rain. it fell so hard that the streets were flooded in minutes. judging from the winds that raped anything and everything on the road, i knew that i wasn't going home anytime soon.

i was cold, hungry, and wet like the people who got stranded. we looked like drowned rats while waiting for any type of transportation that could take us home. it was futile for the jeepneys were packed, and the tricycles rarely pass by.

i was about to construct an ark out of the barbecue sticks that i found floating around but something came up. an abs-cbn (media) van suddenly stopped a few meters away from us. they talked to a person nearby. we thought that they were asking for directions, but instead, the guy from the passenger seat suddenly pulled out a fucking camera blazing with a thousand watts of white light.

when i realized it, i was screaming "what the fuck?!" and i was instinctively looking for a rock to hurl at the goddamned van.

somehow i didn't find it entertaining. NEWS MY ASS, as if the whole of pampanga did not experience that storm first hand. fucking assholes.

Basic Skills

2008-03-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

it is true that human beings have different mastery and skills. some can fix rubik's cube in a jiffy and some can find the nth root of a random number. some have green thumbs and some are just gifted with random thumb skills. (like being able to type faster in a cellphone keypad than in a standard computer keyboard.)

but there are some skills that are considered so basic that it's almost as common as having common sense. because these things are necessary for human survival, not having such skills can make even the most irrational beings (read: females) think before they interact or even mate with you even after they are shit-wasted from heartbreaks, stork/snow bear candy, monosodium glutamate, and alcohol.

sadly, your handsome author, namely yours truly, does not have these so-called basic skills.

here is a list of these things:

eating balot without a spoon. -i am not skilled enough to eat balot using only my bare hands. because everytime i do, i make a mess of things.

eating noodles without a fork. -eating is necessary for survival, anybody who is mentally capable enough to breathe and eat by himself knows of this. but the thing is, i always find it as a tough predicament whenever i am offered a spoon instead of a fork.

folding clothing. - i know it's not an excusable thing. given that i wear clothes everyday, i should at least know how to fold them.

i think i have murdered myself enough for today's dose of entertainment. good day to all. :D

Serials

2008-02-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

hey mark, if you happen to check my site today, here's your request. serial codes

im sorry i can't reply to you this morning because i have yet to reload my prepaid mobile phone :p

i do not reload much since i don't have anybody (translation: sexy babe) to text or call. so you better provide me some (girls. preferably 34-36cup B) to text/call so that whenever a dire need arises, you can make sure that i can reply back to you asap.

good day.

Arrow Shower

2008-02-14T04:59:00.000-08:00

february 14, 2008

i'm spending my so-called heart's day with somebody really dear to me...

namely, myself.

anyway, if you're spending this day with a good buddy of yours (meaning a bestfriend with the same gender as you), you better think twice before doing so.

Scenario: Going to a Restaurant with a Buddy

as you may have noticed, every restaurant today adopted the valentine's day theme/motif. imagine yourself going into a restaurant, the guard opens the door and greets you guys "happy valentine's day".

random stuff inserted:
friend: pare, nakakatawa yung mga tao sa mcdo.
me: bakit?
friend: dim lights dun ngayon pare. hirap nga mga customers di nila makita burger nila, yuko sila ng yuko.

what's worse is that a black winged angel comes swooping down and shoots a hail of arrows at your sorry asses. (clue: that would be mr. piolo pascual)

random stuff inserted part 2:
Ju: what's new in the world?
Conejo Delicioso: im still keeping my record.
Ju: which one?
Conejo Delicioso: i think it's been 3 years that i've spent valentine's day alone
Ju: how about me?
Ju: 23 years
Ju: now thats a record
Conejo Delicioso: okay.. that's bad

The Invincible Single Army

2008-02-14T04:50:00.001-08:00

You have to refine
items on your own to
make great equipment!

It's a waste to
form parties in
dungeons! I can
make it on my own!

Hell, I've trained
all by myself since
birth, all the way
to my jobchange!

I CHOOSE to spend
Christmas alone...
playing Solitaire and
doing crossword puzzles!

Women may break my
spirit, but they'll never
take... my FREEDOM!

...We're the free! We're
the Invincible Single Army!

*taken from a Ragnarok Online NPC

Being An Ass

2008-02-11T05:56:00.000-08:00

a few days ago, i was smoking a cigar while waiting for a jeepney to stop by. i barely consumed half of the stick when a jeepney came. being considerate to other people (not to mention being a law abiding citizen), i disposed of my cigar before i climbed aboard.

then the unexpected happened.

i slipped and i almost smashed my ass on the jeepney floor. i looked around with a clueless expression on my face.

"why the fuck is the floor slippery?" i gazed down to solve the mystery myself.

the floor was wet and shiny, plus there was a faint smell of gas or some funky fume.

i removed my earphones (because i was listening to music at that time) and i waited for a logical explanation on why the driver let the passengers board such a hazardous vehicle.

i heard him murmur "i had to treat the rust on the floor blah blah".

i was about to stab the motherfucker's neck with a ballpen but my guardian angel whispered "it's ok, it's a good day, jessica alba's assisting you in the sperm bank today."

i looked at the passengers and gave them a stare saying "why the fuck didn't you tell me the floor was slippery?"

as expected, nobody said anything. nobody cared.

analyzing further, i came to a conclusion that:

common sense isn't that common at all. whoever coined that word must be mistaken. what is common among people is stupidity and negligence.
people simply do not care about other people.
mp3 players are the cause of the two bullets mentioned above.

pissed off and losing all hope for humanity, i joined the brain-dead passengers in watching people slip as they board. without saying a goddamned word to the next victim.

technology is supposed to connect people. it's supposed to provide the means to improve interaction among people. but nowadays, it's causing autism.

when that earphone is plugged in your ear, you lose all interest in the things around you. you just focus on your destination while enjoying your music to pass the time. when was the last time you went out of your way and actually helped somebody out while listening to your mp3 player?

i might be guilty of this myself. maybe one person actually tried to warn me about the slippery floor but i wasn't able to hear him/her because of my mp3 player.

so who's being an ass here?

Fun Avatars

2008-01-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

ok, im too lazy to write. so busy yourself with creating your own south park avatar.

click here.

Coffee

2008-01-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

last night:

after watching a movie, my friends suggested that we stay and have a little chat in a coffee shop.

great.

i know that you guys know (since we went to highschool together) that i do not drink coffee.

being the only guy who doesn't drink coffee, i had to follow the majority because that's how the barkada is. it was raining and we guys didn't have an umbrella. but forward we go... for the love of coffee.

i was coughing like crazy because of the cold and i could have sworn i felt my left lung deplete. i was pissed because all of us were soaking wet. the homeless aetas on the sidewalks were doing better than us. even the fruits that they were selling for a cheap price were dry, all of them sheltered from the rain using nothing but empty sacks of rice.

at least they know how to stay the fuck out of the streets when it's raining.

but not my friends.

forward we go.. for the love of coffee.

i couldn't stand it anymore so i asked our female kabarkada with an ironic grin on my face, "for the love of coffee?"

she smiled and said. "no, for it's for the love of being with you guys"

Jjamppong

2008-01-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

the korean invasion (in the philippines) just keeps getting better and better. i must admit that i found myself loving a variety of stuff that originated/was inspired from/by korea.

some of these things are:

ragnarok online
sassy girl chun-hyang (series)
jjamppong soup (luckyme cupnoodles)
korean barbeque (rice-in-a-box)

but today my tolerance for korean stuff has taken it's toll.

i was peacefully smoking a cigarette near our school campus when two korean guys stopped nearby and lit some cigarettes. everything was peaceful and good. until one of them decided to say "hi!"

i looked around and i was expecting to see some korean friends of theirs, but alas the bastard was addressing me. so i looked at him and he said "hi!" again. the conversation kinda went like this:

korean douche: "hi!"
me: *looks around*
korean douche: "hi!"
me: *looks at the douche*
me: "yes?..."
korean douche: "hello!" *smiles*

he was probably gonna ask for my name and number so i left. it was freaky i tell you. he was probably gay or he didn't understand that "yes?" means "please state your business." or it could be that koreans greet each other by spamming alternate "hi's!" and "hello's!".

that was the first and probably the last time i'd ever interact with the korean people. unless the korean happens to be a hot babe that needs a place to stay for one night.

it's almost mandatory that i eat jjamppong(instant noodles) after playing ragnarok online. but tonight, i tried to eat something that could take my mind off the freaking koreans.

tom yum goong(instant noodles)... and the taste...

was shit.

if tom yum goong was a person, he was probably known as sinigang before "he" decided to become a "she" in thailand.

One Year

2008-01-06T00:47:00.000-08:00

today, january 07, 2008.

dear readers:

philippinerabbit.blogspot.com is finally a year old!!

thanks to all my supporters, readers, critics, friends and the people/issues who/that fell victim to this blog.

again, many many thanks. =)

Conejo
Author of Philippine Rabbit
http://philippinerabbit.blogspot.com

Too Old for this Shit

2007-12-30T16:35:00.000-08:00

i still can't believe that (last saturday night) my friends finally forced me into going in a club/disco again. it's not that i have anything against hanging out, drinking, dancing, and having a good time with other people. in fact, i do enjoy drinking and chilling out.

but not in over-crowded places.

goddamn it, does [the name of the establishment removed] ever heard of population control? the goddamned place was so crowded that any philippine correctional facility cell is a better place to hang out. and no, im not exaggerating. i can't even drink from my [bottled] beer without somebody hitting the back of his/her head on it while dancing.

and why the fuck did we have to stand while drinking? all i did in that hell hole was perspire and breathe in teen fumes mixed with second hand smoke. i used to love that, back when i was in my teen years. but not anymore... the crowd has drastically changed. back then, we [males] didn't wear skinny pants, scarves and body-fit clothes. back then, 18 out of 20 girls were genuine [yes, by genuine that i mean biologically born as a female], last saturday night, it spiraled down to 5 out of 20.

everywhere i looked, people looked and dressed the same. gay here, gay there, gay everywhere. there were so many gay people there that you'd think that gay bars have been losing their frequent customers.

here's a tip. dancing with two girls doesn't make you look macho, it's still gay. i have seen through it all. you are their gay friend, and they kept bumping their ass at my crotch for one reason, you guys are planning on getting me drunk, take me to your house, and have your way with me.

oh yeah, if you guys [barkada] ever read this:

the next time we go out, please here's a tip.

live bands
space
tables and seats

Christmas Day

2007-12-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

from what i have observed, many people dread christmas day.

here's a little list of the possible reasons why:

godchildren coming to visit your house.
tons of gifts to be given to acquaintances, friends, and relatives.
the "creativity" needed to come up with a gift that's better than a calendar or a coffee mug.
and of course, people simply do not have the money for such.

back when i was a kid, christmas lights and christmas trees were always a sight to behold. everything was so flashy and the mood was always satisfying and cheerful. everybody lit christmas lights in their homes, everybody participated in brightening up christmas day.

nowadays christmas lights are lit just for luxury. people cannot draw much happiness from these lights because they themselves do not have the resources to participate in such an activity.

when i ask my friends if they can feel the spirit of chirstmas, they always reply. no, because i do not have the money to spend.

it is funny that we never matured and we never let go of the idea that christmas day is supposed to be flashy and sumptuous.

we still act like kids and expect money and gifts for christmas. the idea that christmas is about having money to spend, the idea that christmas is about flashiness and having a voluptuous feast... the idea that christmas is about having things that can satisfy you.

have we forgotten the real meaning of christmas? this is the day when our Lord came down on earth to be with us, the day when He GAVE Himself to us. He was born in a stable and was put on a manger. there was nothing flashy about it.

for me chirstmas is about simplicity and humility, it's about giving yourself others, it's about offering yourself to others just like what our Lord did for us. there's no need to be flashy, just be there for the people who need you, just be there and once again paticipate in brightening up christmas day.

What If?

2007-12-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

have you seen the christmas advertisement of chowking?.

summary: a man worked overseas for quite a few years and he comes home this christmas. he will get to meet his son for the first time. when he reached home a kid approached him and said "noel din po ba ang pangalan ninyo?" (that makes him [the kid] noel junior).

heartwarming isn't it? ok, here's a situation:

it's christmas day.. you and your friends are having a good time. there's food on the table, good chilled drinks, the ambience is just right. you talk about the good year that has passed, and your plans for the upcoming year. you smile, laugh, and enjoy yourself because you had the opportunity to celebrate christmas with your buddies.

then there's this kid that suddenly pops out of nowhere and he approaches you. he opens his mouth and mumbles "[your name] din po b'ang pangalan n'yo?"

shocked and unable to move, you look at his face and you see a slightly familiar face. you try to recall where you have seen that face.. nothing... but you are positive that you have never seen this kid before.

then as quickly as he popped out of nowhere, your brain pieced all the pieces of the puzzle together. you now realize why he looks so familiar...

a few meters away, you see your ex-girlfriend smiling at the two of you.

you then tell yourself...

H O L Y S H I T !!

but as redkinoko puts it.. it's like "holy shit" without the holy part.

Five Minutes

2007-12-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

today i find myself trying to save something that has already fallen. (my blog)

"wala pang five minutes!!" this expression is often uttered when a piece of food is dropped on the floor. people believe that dirt/germs won't be able contaminate that piece of food if it is picked up in less than five seconds.

"sayang kasi, pwede pa naman." it would be a shame if i just let it go to waste. i feel that i can still write if i exert enough effort and will. from "fighting spirit" to "fighting pilit" i am trying to revive this blog for my friends, my readers, and visitors.

i must confess that i have lost interest in blogging. one of the reasons why i started a blog was because i found a lot of potential readers and that i was active in chatrooms and forums. i seem to have lost interest in chatting because of the same-ol' same-ol' shit. and because pRO started to suck christmas balls thanks to the shitty management of level-up philippines. i have lost all interest in pRO and ragnaboards. i have moved on to a better server.

and because of my inactivity, i do not feel the excitement and the thrill of writing a new article. the comments and reactions from the readers are the things that fuel me into writing, but because i have grown uninterested and lazy in chatting and posting in forums, this blog has been abandoned.

again, please forgive me for causing you disappointment and boredom everytime you visit this blog. i will try to make new articles as soon as possible and i will try to save this blog from rotting away.

"pwede pa yan, wala pang five minutes."

Being Negative

2007-12-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

last friday afternoon we were informed that there will be a major brownout the next day (saturday), from 8:00am to 5:00pm.

of course nobody was pleased about it. upon hearing the news, we started cursing and ranting [or maybe just plain bitching.]

who in their right mind would turn the power off for that long? what were we supposed to do for entertainment or productivity? blah blah blah what a pain in the ass.

i charged my cellphone to full the night before and i was preparing myself to sweat a lot and stare blankly at the walls of my room. the next day came... the countdown began... 7:00am --i took my bath and after that i arranged my collection of old funny komiks chronologically. i waited for the electricity to die out so that i can have a good reason to start reading. 8:00am came and the power never fluctuated one bit.

9:00... 10:00.. 11:00 came. still no sign of power failure. lunch time came and still nothing special happened. then.. i got bored of waiting so i went to sleep.

to sum it all up, the prophecy was a hoax. there was a continious flow of electricity for the whole day.

when i talked to my friends about the issue, they were ranting once again.

there weren't any brownouts! what a hassle! that was stupid!

why?... why do people complain so much? do we find comfort in complaining and being negative about things?

shouldn't we at least be thankful?

we always look for a reason to get mad, complain, and act like a bitch.

if the power outage was indeed experienced that day, we will rant about it.
if not, we rant about not experiencing it.

may this be a reminder for us to be grateful and thank the Man upstairs for helping us "survive" a "rough day".

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
"bulbul ayup" (translation: bird's feather)

Opinions

2007-12-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

about half-a-week ago, we were entertained once more by the circus of so-called leaders called "politicians". on the day of senator trillianes' trial, he and his men walked out of the court room armed and started to prance around the streets shouting "join us!!", "oust pgma!!", and some other blah blah blah. surprisingly, some civilians marched with them (they also wore that red armband). much like every politician's open supporters, they were paid a sum of 200php each just to be there.

they made their stand at manila peninsula. where trillianes talked about his (people's) demands and even mentioned that they would never stop and give up. when i watched it on tv, he was almost teary-eyed and his emotions were really bursting out. he talked about pgma's scandals, the people's hardships, his iron will to never give up until the philippines is set right.

i said to myself, wow. i think he really means it. (translation: good, it means there will be no classes on monday.)

i knew it was too good to be true, as the apc tank smashed through manila peninsula. i was half-expecting the zaidos to pop out of the tank. but alas, they used the oh-so-brutal tear gas on the poor military rebels and the nosy media men. shaider could have been there but he's already in a better place. (rest in peace).

well so much for their last stand. they got caught and were taken into custody.

the administration couldn't just wipe them out because of the nosy media men and the fact that exterminating trillianes and his men would be like throwing/hosting a fellatio festival for opposition team. if trillianes gets killed, the opposition will feast on the drama. more trouble for pgma and the administration.

any move made by the government is checked, double-checked, and criticized by the opposition team and the "masa". that is why pardon was granted for erap, just to close the book and make the "masa" forget about their grievances on the government. hoping that it can create a little breathing space for the administration, and somehow minimize the attacks coming from the opposition.

the administration and the opposition concentrate on pleasing the crowd. whoever statisfies the wants of the hundreds of thousands of masses takes the seat in the government. that's what democracy is all about anyway. for the people, by the people.

what's tragic is, the masses can't think for themselves. (it's sad but many people are uneducated and unemployed and starving.) they just support whoever promises them liberation from poverty. (and who can blame them?)

this is where the media comes in. the media makes the drama so that the masses can relate to the current political events. the news has to have drama for it to sell. nobody pays for plain, boring, "as-is" news. thus, reality and facts are replaced with the media's flavorings. or the politicans themselves make the drama so that the media will cover them.

with the image of "empowering the people", the media is a force to be reckoned with. nosy media men who sucked teargas are hailed as heroes while the people who are just doing their jobs are called assholes. the government can't do their job because of the possible casualties, trillianes can't make his last stand because of the possible casualties. yes, the media men, at all cost, must not be harmed. for they can slap you silly on public tv if they wanted to.

a government that is for the people, by the people has turned chaotic because every damn bastard is voicing out his opinion. every damn bastard wants to be the leader. every damn bastard thinks he can think.

so the next time you get the urge to give out dramatic opinions [like this one], make sure you know what you're talking about. else, let the professionals deal with it.

let them do their job.

you don't go supervising the doctors on how they should install your iron lung. you don't know shit about it, so stfu.

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
"ali ku biyasang magkapampangan" (translation: i dont know how to speak kapampangan)
----

Pinoy Big Boner (Part 2)

2007-11-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

today is a sad day for the human race because today...
i finally gave up my rational thinking for something more important. (i.e. sexual stimulation)

who can resist the winning formula that is mariel + toni + swimming outfits?
hell, i'm even considering the option of 24/7 pay-per-view.

but only if they feature angel locsin.

if i ever do avail of such, i'd make sure i'd purchase rolls and rolls of toilet paper too.

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
nang nanangnang nang nanang? (translation: what is nanang grilling?)

Why I Choose Fastfood

2007-11-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

after class, my friend and i were very hungry. so, the only rational thing to do is eat. [that is because i tend to get violent when i'm hungry.]

we had a debate on where we should chow, [because i hate waiting i always suggest fast food] after 30 minutes of calculating for the possible time consumption, walking effort, and miscellaneous expenses, i finally agreed to eat in a non-fast food restaurant.

i hate waiting, but i agreed because eating there required the least walking-effort and it offered the chance of not getting super-soaked in the rain. but still...

i hate waiting.

and yes, i don't usually go out eating with a guy partner. you know how it is today, this is the gay-paranoid age, wherein anybody and everybody has an urge to come bursting out of the closet. i mean decent-looking guys have the most potential to turn gay at any moment, and the only real guys you can spot in this era are the shirtless-beer-bellied-street-thugs.

anyway, there we are at the restaurant. after sitting down a few minutes, somebody came to take our order. i was looking down at the menu and i didn't notice if it was a waiter or a waitress.

when i glanced sideways and then upward, i was sure that i saw 34B boobies, so i smiled while i looked up and gave my order. to my surprise, the waitress was a fuckin' guy!! and an ugly one at that. he looked like a product of chromosomes-gone-wrong. i tried hard to suppress the id telling me to slay the freak of nature at that very moment.

we ordered baked-macs and iced teas.

my friend ordered an extra [blue berry cheese cake]. i seldom eat cakes because i hate sweets so i didn't order any dessert. [cigars will do.]

it took another 15-20 minutes before the food was served. at that time i was really growing impatient. and then the unthinkable happened.

the bastard served my friend's cake with two forks.

shit, does he seriously think that we were dating?

curse this age of gay people!!

i'd rather live with the dinosaurs.

then again.. there's that purple-assed-pedo-dino.

shit.

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
kasaman daka!! (translation: i despise you!!)

Not So Important Update

2007-11-14T08:56:00.001-08:00

may this picture remind us to leave the japanese stuff to the real japanese people.

anyway here's a little update on the "going racist" post.

the chinese have lead dicks and lead musket balls.

great move, great beer. =)

----
second kapampangan phrase for today:
"patugut ka!!" ([you] stop!!)

Shaider Review

2007-11-14T07:09:00.000-08:00

click > watch the last episode of shaider < click

the japanese really have a thing for tentacles (see: (hentai) anime tentacle porn) , they probably fantasize about having long-and-bad-ass-tentacles because their members are quite the opposite.

anyway, i always thought that annie was a human. and that she and alexis have some sort of attraction towards each other. i always bet on shaider to kick ass and save the day, and at least get a hot chick after all that effort.

it turns out that annie was an alien from another planet and that planet is now history. she was probably from a planet called "clean panty planet". i've seen her wear brown and yellow outfits but never have i seen her change her panties (yes, you perv, she always wears that white one). and what's surprising is that it never discolors or gets soiled after all that fighting.

shaider probably turned down the chick when he found that out. i mean, if she doesn't soil her panties she probably doesn't have that human organ. or maybe he noticed that she wears the same damn thing every episode.

oh before i forget, FUCK ZAIDO.

----
kapampangan word for today:
muli naka!! (translation: [you] go home!!)
----

Going Racist on the Chinese

2007-11-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

a little reminder to my lady friends.
do not choose a chinese guy for a boyfriend.

their "toys" have lead content.

Lead (pronounced /ˈlɛd/) is a chemical element in the periodic table that has the symbol Pb (Latin: plumbum) and atomic number 82. A soft, heavy, toxic and malleable poor metal, lead is bluish white when freshly cut but tarnishes to dull gray when exposed to air. -wikipedia

lead is poisonous. do not swallow. no! don't even think about putting that thing in your mouth.

like their japanese spin-offs, their small parts might induce choking. (choking from something so small really does make you look like an idiot.)

so do think about this before saying "chinito's are hot" or something.

ps: if i am not able to update my blog in 5 days, that means i am no longer with you guys. the triad or the yakuza are to blame.

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
ali mu ku pakisabyan mabuluk pengan!! (translation: don't talk to me, what you ate stinks!!)
----

The Best Medicine

2007-11-11T17:23:00.000-08:00

they say that laughter is the best medicine.
well sometimes it isn't.

especially when your friend just had his appendix removed. or he had some badass operation which required cutting him up.

anyway, there i was. visiting my friend after an operation. i was given caution not to make him laugh because it's gonna hurt him like hell.

i made the visit as boring and serious as possible. i was feeling a little gloomy so i asked for my leave and i wished my buddy a speedy recovery.

when i closed the door behind me, i realized that i don't know the way out of the hospital. so i entered the room and seriously walked in.

i approached his sister and whispered, "can you give me directions, i don't know the way out"

surprised, she said (unfortunately, it was very audible), "what?! you don't know the way out?"

i think my friend laughed his guts out as i rushed for the door. (i heard a mix of "ahahahhahaaraaay-putang-inaaa")

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
"mabuluk ka bitis" (translation: your feet stink)
----

It's Over

2007-11-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

not a real post. i just love watching this vid.

it's my site anyway. =p

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
"kalati mo" (translation: you're small)
----

Old Trick Questions

2007-11-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

back in highschool we used to play a game of trick questions. i have no idea where this originated but somehow most of the kids at that time knew of it. (this was probably some old fraternity i.q. test)

so without further ado, here they are:

question: "how do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator (in three steps)?"
answer: "1.) open the door of the fridge, 2.) put the elephant inside, 3.) and close it."

after giving the answer, we divert to another topic or tell jokes. and after a few minutes we ask the following question.

question: "the airplane's engines are failing and we need to lighten the load, what do you throw away to save the plane?"
answer: "the refrigerator" (why? the goddamned elephant is in there!")

we ask another question so that they won't think that we are diverting from the game.

question: "tarzan needed to rescue jane, and he calls forth all the animals in the jungle. who was not present among all the animals?"
answer: "the elephant" (he is still inside the fridge)

tell another joke.

then hit them with another trick question.

question: "you are lost in a swamp and you have to cross it.
you saw a sign saying, "beware of crocodiles, do not cross"
what do you do?"
answer: "just swim across, there are no crocs. (tarzan called all the animals a while ago)

now for the finishing move.

question: "two lovers were sitting on a bench, it was night time and nobody else can see them. as things became mushy and hot between them, they suddenly died."
they were found dead the next day. "what was the cause of their death?"
answer: "the refrigerator squashed them"

----
kapampangan phrase for today:
"ang hover ku pa" (translation: "i'm still hung over")
lol not really.
----

Paying Respects

2007-11-01T06:11:00.000-07:00

the beauty of being a mortal can be compared to a short story being told at bedtime.

it is beautiful because it has a happy ending, it is beautiful because there is something learned and shared in such a short time. though it doesn't last forever, we can appreciate it because we can see hope... --that through the hardships and struggles there will always be a brighter day ahead.

great as the story is, there is always an end to it. --a "happily ever after".

we close our eyes and look forward into the next day. we go to sleep with a smile, inspired by the bed time story, inspired by the persons who shared their lives with us.

the story may have ended this night, but tomorrow it will be our story... a story inspired and touched by those who passed on before us.

we may not be able to think of them every single day, but their values and memories will always stay in our hearts, giving us the strength to face the days ahead... so that someday, our story may inspire and touch lives too.

you really should remember to visit your (late) loved ones at least once a year.

it's always better to visit them than the other way around (them visiting you).

to all the dearly departed, rest in peace.

----
kapampangan phrase for tonight:

"melanat nala reng sampaga" (translates to: "the flowers have withered")

Another Environment-Friendly Reminder

2007-10-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

well there hasn't been enough environmental care topics here on philippine rabbit, so, i would like to make this post as environmentally friendly as possible. (meaning, i won't try to pollute your brains with senseless bullshit again, like what i did in the previous post.)

ok class, today, we tackle the issue of using toilet paper.

paper, as we all know is a product made from trees. and though trees are abundant in our forests, their numbers are quickly reduced due to the high consumption and demand for wood-based products. (this is inversely proportional to the female's demand for morning-wood.)

another scarce resource would be drinking water (drinkable water). as we know, water is a virtually limitless due to the fact that the earth is composed of 70.8% water, 29.2% land, and 90% idiot-inhabitants (see: emo, gay, mirror). the drinkable water available to us is only 1% of the total water supply on earth. yes, it is limited.

comfort rooms in malls, restaurants, and gasoline stations should at least post a slogan about conservation.

something like..

"save paper, use water" or "use paper, save water"

----
kapampangan phrase for today:

kalibi mo!! (translates to: you're horny)
----

Disturbing the Balance

2007-10-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago, my classmate and i cut class... since there was nothing really interesting going on inside the classroom, we went out to get some snacks.

as usual, i got myself a cheese burger and iced tea. after stuffing my face (and my shirt with ketchup), i looked around and searched for a trash bin.

there was none.

so i did what a true catholic student [studying in a catholic school] would do.

(no, putting a ketchup-soaked wrapping in your pockets/bag [or carrying it around with you] is not the way to go.)

i just left the wrappings on my seat.

why you ask?

because if i walk around the campus with ketchup on my shirt while clasping on a ketchup-soaked wrapper, people would start thinking that im some psychopath with a fetish for smudging myself with ketchup.

furthermore, not littering would mean disturbing the balance. if every student would see to it that they keep their surroundings clean, the maintainance people/janitors won't have anything to do. if they have nothing to do, their services won't longer be needed in the school. this results to unemployment and starving children. (and considering that we are filipinos, free time at home can also lead to overpopulation.)

every little thing you do can affect the environment and it's inhabitants big time. so please think before you do anything.

ok, this article does not justify littering. cause im just bullshitting you. please keep your surroundings clean and yourself disciplined. though we can't always mold the future for the next generation, we can mold the next generation for the future.

(inspired by jherskie's post)

----
kapampangan phrase for today:

"murit ku" (translation: "im crazy")
---

Messing With Photoshop

2007-10-14T05:21:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i messed with my photos.

so there.

not a real post, i'm just bored.

----
kapampangan phrase for the day:

"magbulus ku" (translation: i'm having diarrhea)
----

Just Another Day

2007-10-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

a few days ago i was reminded why i never wanted to work for an internet shop to spend my sembreak ever again.

it's because of rude, annoying or just plain gay customers.

here's a list of them:

maids on their day-off -i have nothing against domestic helpers. but these ladies act like they're experts . they often request for webcams (even after you tell them that you don't have any), headsets, and they often play songs on friendster (maxed-out volume.)

they usually ask for new keyboards (with visible letters on keys) because they can't touch-type. they know how to use yahoo messenger and cellphones, they also view boys (in friendster) who look like the descendants of the fallen defenders of mactan a few centuries back.

just because you can chat, text and upload pictures; it doesn't mean that you're tech-savvy. keep banging on that keyboard, here's a banana.

old gay guys -these are probably the worst customers ever.

at first it's hard to spot these guys among the normal customers, but when they open their yahoo messenger and start viewing guys on webcams, you know you hit the jackpot.

they either come early in the morning or late night. they look like overdue library books, misplaced, lost, and not cared about. or maybe even somebody who has been postponing his meeting with the grim reaper.

don't you think it's a little bit too late for you to be coming out of the closet? (or even following the footsteps of rustom padilla?)

teen spirit -they usually come in a large group and they are probably the noisiest people in the shop. the fumes from their underdeveloped bodies can be compared to the aroma of steaming dogshit under the afternoon sun. or with the smell of the air when rain suddenly pours on a hot concrete road.

well, the list can go on but i am quite sleepy. i guess i'll write part 2 tomorrow.

----
kapampangan word for today:

"mabuktut ku!!" (translation: im pregnant!!)

Congratulations!!

2007-10-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

once again, manny "the pacman" pacquiao, proves the superiority of the phillipine kamote (sweet potato) over the mexican burrito.

congratulations!!

----
second kapampangan phrase for today...

"mekeni, tumbukan tamu." (translation: come here, let's have a fist-fight.)

The Pacquiao Fight

2007-10-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

today is a good day for the philippines, we will be experiencing low crime rates. there will be no hold-uppers in the alleys, no snatchers on the streets, and even your local "kanto-tamadors" won't even be seen drinking infront of their favorite sari-sari store.

on this very day, not even one filipino would seek harm to any of his "kababayan".

yes, that is the power of manny pacquiao's fights. everyone will just sit infront of their televisions and watch.. as our hero prove to the world that we are world-class-brown-skinned-brawlers.

you can barely see tricycles and jeepneys on the streets... marcos probably had a little problem about implementing curfews, but today.. filipinos are more than willing to confine themselves at home just to have a peaceful time watching the pacquiao fight.

this is a day of peace and unity... or so we thought.

why you ask?

because the fight is aired on gma 7... and abs-cbn 2 just aired some recent film of juday and ryan (and some other recent films).

the males would want to watch the fight... but, the females would want to watch juday and ryan make mush. this could result to some serious fight over the remote controller because abs-cbn is airing the films without commercials...

of course, the dominant females will get the remote, unless the males want to spend their nights cold.

anyway... we don't have pay-per-view, i will be watching the fight on gma. shit.

----
kapampangan phrase for today:

"dinan mu ku pang nasi" (translates to: give me more rice)

Lighten Up

2007-10-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday, my blog got hits from new readers and my cbox got flooded. so i had to clean up. not that i mind a little publicity. good or bad publicity is still good.

if you are new to this blog, i'll summarize stuff for you.

i am laughing with you, not at you. (except if you're emo/homo/conio)
the articles are written in a funny but informative way.
this is my blog.
if you don't find my articles funny, copy-paste this message and send it to your friends or else your girlfriend will grow a dick in 12hrs.
doing that proves that you're an idiot.
there's a little [x] button on the upper right corner of your browser, click it if you don't like my blog. (yes, by browser i meant your internet explorer/firefox.)
seriously, if it's not funny for you, don't be hating on me, i can't possibly come up with good topics every time. i cannot please everybody in the crowd. i had to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

if you fuss too much about what was said and done, then fuss about this.

in an episode of desperate housewives teri hatcher mentions:

"Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Coz I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

apparently, they know that pinoys are dr. jacinto wannabes. yes, i know your parents wanted you to be in that field. because hey, dr. jacinto got rich from playing dr. kwak-kwak the albularyo.

i was never forced to be in my field though, because hey, de guzman had the worst thesis ever, he got caught for writing a virus, and he was treated as a terrorist that sent a virus to the pentagon.

speaking of the pentagon, the people there are idiots, why the fuck did they open an attachment just because the message said "iloveyou". this just shows that even though you're on the top fields, you still have your basic need to be an idiot.

----
kapampangan phrase for today...

"manos kang buldit" (translation: wash your ass)