Ragnarok Online: Mastersmith

My Ragnarok Online Mastersmith / Whitesmith status build and equipment set.

Ragnarok Online: Champion

My Ragnarok Online Champion status build and equipment set.

Ragnarok Online: Paladin

My Ragnarok Online Paladin status build and equipment set.

Ragnarok Online: Lord Knight

My Ragnarok Online Lord Knight status build and equipment set.

Back to the Basics

[09:45]conejodelicioso: i've been constipated for months now.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: i think i need to be more "human"
[09:45] Ju: i know its annoying.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: like go sleep, eat, and have a gf.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: that'll probably set things right.
[09:45] conejodelicioso: and make me shit or something.
[09:45] Ju: i know
[09:45] Ju: have you found someone to settle down with?
[09:46] conejodelicioso: no.
[09:46] conejodelicioso: but i'd give it a try if that'd make me shit
[09:46] conejodelicioso: i remember back then i always had the urge to take a crap (involuntarily) each time my gf scares the shit outta me.
[09:46] conejodelicioso: like "hun, im two weeks late"
[09:47] Ju: ahahahaha
[09:47] Ju: ah the call to fatherhood
[09:47] conejodelicioso: fuck you ju. im staying in marlboro country with wild horses, men and cigarettes.
[09:47] Jur: omgeee
[09:47] Ju: you like men
[09:47] conejodelicioso: that didn't come out right.
[09:48] Ju: and WILD horses
[09:48] Ju: i know
09:50] Ju: so wasts new in ur lyf anyway
[09:50] conejodelicioso: nothing's new.. i can't blog, i cant shit, i cant sleep.
[09:50] conejodelicioso: godeffindamnit.
[09:50] Ju: you need to shit 1st if you want to sleep
[09:51] Ju: so you need to relax 1st
[09:51] conejodelicioso: i need to relax.. meaning i need to have sex and sleep.
[09:51] Ju: exactly
[09:51] conejodelicioso: then i'd crap after the girl tells me she's 2 weeks late.
[09:51] conejodelicioso: sounds like a plan ju.
[09:51] Ju: but i think you've been chaste
[09:51] Ju: hmm...
[09:52] Ju: it is
[09:52] conejodelicioso: work is inversely proportional to sex my friend.
[09:52] Ju: any targets?
[09:52] conejodelicioso: i wish i had the time.
[09:52] conejodelicioso: for now im just trying to catch up on my sleep.
[09:54] Ju: you need to poop 1st
[09:54] Ju: dammit.

Good Morning... (My Everyday Struggle)

it's 2 in the morning and it's time to start the day. after clicking snooze 5 times on my nokia, i finally force myself to get up.

suddenly, i hear nature summon me and i dash to the bathroom and take my rightful seat on the frozen throne, the ice-cold ceramic throne of destruction.

for breakfast, i know that i only have two options. colgate or hapee. there's food on the table but i wouldn't want to hear taunting "woo!" summons from nature boy anytime soon so i'll pass.

it's still dark outside and i have to walk some distance to find a jeepney. while walking, rain suddenly pours and i make a run for it. our subdivision's pavement is always elegantly decorated with dog shit and water puddles. so when it rains, the dog shit dissolves and mix with the puddles, this phenomenon make things more exciting while running for cover.

soaked, cold, and dripping wet, i finally board a jeepney. here's a little list of people that you usually sit with in a jeepney at around 3am.

drunk-ass bastards who had too much to drink. -these sorry ass mofos are usually broke and they often "forget" to pay for the fare. and they usually vomit on the floor/person seated next to them if the ride gets too bumpy. but some of these people are actually decent enough to swallow their own puke.

beerhouse girls -they usually come in pairs. girl-girl pairs usually go home to rest. however the girl-boy pairs usually go to motels or to the boy's bachelor pad. some are discreet and pretend not to know each other, and some can't wait and they tend to get hot on the jeep.

wet market vendors -you usually don't get to sit next to them because you'll be sitting next to whatever they are selling. like heaps of fish and vegetables.

people like me -these people fake their nationality and accents to make a living, eat "lunch" at 8:00am in the morning and have their "dinner" at around 4pm. they don't follow a regular schedule for taking a dump like normal people do, and they usually take a crap during work breaks.

people like me also have to be nice to 2008-olympics-frustrated-americans and agree with them that "china is indeed cheating/faking". you know what? go fuck your tv, your chips, and your couch you "athletic olympian". and fuck yahoo and those americanized biased blogs about the olympics.

i need to board another jeep to be able to reach my destination. from a few meters away, i see a stranger.. a man smiling.. --and with demonic speed he approaches me... he stares me in the eyes with an evil grin..

that is when i realize that i just missed the last jeepney. the man's tricycle roars and i curl up into a ball like a bullied kid who just lost his lunch money.

my teammates greet me "good morning" and i smile back.

epilogue:

"pare, alam mo ba kung nasaan si pedro?"

"di eh, di ba pagkatapos nating naginuman eh pumunta siya sa pad ni juan?"

"di ata chong, tinext ako ng asawa niya wala naman daw siya doon kina juan"

"di kaya may masamang nangyari?"

"baka sumakabilang bahay na siya..."

"may masama nangang mangyayari"

The Awakening

ah yes, its been a while since i've updated my blog. im really sorry for the lack of updates, but i've been so
lazybusy lately that i haven't had the chance to update.

so yeah, i just came back from the real world. and i have relearned some of the things that a typical working pinoy has to put up with.

one is, i actually spend more money on transportation than food. more money on coffee than food (to be discussed on the later part of the post). more money on taxes than prepaid cell cards.

with regard to economics, the fast-rising gasoline prizes can actually compete with the speed at which our local squatter's area are able to produces babies. and it makes me wonder how fishball vendors and photocopy machine operators actually survive in our country.

you see, these people only make 50centavos per piece of fishball/a page. and the prices stayed the same. even way before i have grown pubes.

who knows, fishballs may be the solution to world hunger. it's cheap, cost-effective, and we have a ready supply. for 50centavos a piece who'd grow hungry?

going back to the coffee part of the blog. there was this one time that my friends were actually able to convince me to have a cup of coffee at star bucks. i was never a fan of coffee/sweets. but yeah, they're the ones paying for it so why not?

why not have a taste of the million-dollar coffee that is famous for turning your regular pinoy idiot into an english speaking fil-am (feeling amerikano). the starbs coffee is also known for turning your typical bourgeoisie kid into a very "techie" information technology expert. with all the gadgets and laptops, it's a crazy world out there. i was actually waiting for someone to brag about his acer ferrari or his asus lamborghini laptop. sadly, not a soul there was "leet" enough to have one.

but me, i'll be waiting for some chinese electronics company to collaborate with sarao motors. who knows, in a few months i'll be mooching off star buck's wifi with a pensonic/sany sarao laptop.

Bambino!

i haven't been updating lately because i really don't have anything good enough to post. and i have been busy finding my way (read: keep getting lost) around a foreign city that's just 45 minutes away from my home town. plus, im heartbroken.

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WARNING: PERSONAL (READ: BORING) POSTS AHEAD!!
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if you do not wish to read about my so-called life please return tomorrow for the usual funny posts.

okay, if you're still with me, i'll start this post with the getting lost part.

i have been looking for work (again). yes, you heard it right, bumming season is over. i have been applying for work in the city of san fernando, and given my potential to get lost in my own backyard, it takes me quite some time to get to my destination and back. that's why i haven't been updating, transporting from here to there eats up my precious hours of existence in this world.

it's as easy as following the yellow brick road. the jeepney doesn't make any turns, the journey can be summarized in three words, "keep going straight". but that's what makes remembering the journey hard. so fuck it.

what did i apply for? well you'll find out as you read along.

flashback: two months ago, i finally got my dream job. i was accepted as a web editor/developer for small company. the road to get there was to pass a series of tests and interviews and beat 6 guys (other applicants) with your impressive resume and skills. we fought for one slot, for the company junior programmer. in the end, it was i who triumphed.

back in my highschool days, i was already scripting shit, back when prepaid internet cards (dial-up) were still popular. i wrote my own color/commands scripts for mIRC and i have released two beta versions, sadly the said copies were lost. the script did not gain much popularity but my friends loved it and used it. next were custom maps/campaigns for star craft. i remember making a star wars themed campaign which contained 20-30 maps, a thousand triggers, the works. my friends also thought the campaigns were pretty good.

i was so hurt when i turned down that job a few minutes after they called and informed me that i made it. the job was fun, the workplace was just a tricycle away, the salary was reasonable, and my co-workers were mostly 34-36B's . the senior programmer would teach me new languages and stuff. it's like learning what you like and you're getting paid for it.

sadly i have to give these up for...

faking my accent and nationality for a living. yes, fated like a true blooded information technology pinoy student. i wanted to be a bad ass programmer but my older sister told me to get a high salary job. i couldn't do anything because she's my mother/elder sister now. and i guess she knows best.

me: man, i'm still not psyched up for my new job.

friend: look at the bright side man, the world has two countries that predestine their people for that kind of work. one is the philippines and the other one is india.

me: good, those american bastards can easily mistake me for an indian. that's very comforting.

friend: i didn't mean it that way. look they share the same fate as you.

me: *in an indian accent* noh sehr, i um unh american!! i du nut eat curry. death to cows. long live big macs.

man , i just hate being in a business that provides assistance to idiotic high-and-mighty americans, greencard holders, and fil-ams (read: fil-ling amerikanos).

but there's nothing i can do about it.

he who cannot focus on his work does not have the right to talk about his dreams. -from the jdrama bambino!

The Mad Scientist

back in elementary school, i favored my science subjects among all other subjects. it was fun to discover, experiment, and invent. i even had dreams of becoming a bad-ass villain who uses high-tech stuff to take over the world.

but i didn't know what i should invent to show that i mean business.

but last night, it became clear to me.

i would like to name this plot as: taking over the world (part 1)

there would be two stages for my evil scheme.

first stage: invent something that would help mankind.

behold my (future) invention... *drum roll*... the electronically operated intestines or "elopin".

with this invention, lbm (loose bowel movement) can be prevented. you won't have to deal with the urge of taking a crap at a bad time. with this device you can schedule the time for your next dump.

cool invention huh?

this invention will sell like cellular phones and everybody in the world will be using them.

after a few years i will move to the--

second and final stage:
create a massive emp (elecromagnetic pluse) shockwave and watch the poor unsuspecting victims shit involuntarily.

muahahahahaha!! >:)