Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Simpler Times

2018 is finally here and I'm still a soul who's stuck in time. I still like to recall the time when things made sense to me.

So yeah, the first thing on this list --Starbucks planners. Back then, we didn't even want planners for the new year. We were just happy to get calendars from the local barber shop or some distillery/brewery who gave them away for free. We didn't even need to be reminded that every day (for the next 364 days) would be the same shit.

There was a time when fuckboys didn't exist. Or at least they weren't called that. The predecessors of the said subculture were less annoying because all they did was drive around town on their Honda Civics, smoked Marlboro Lights, wore Ralph Lauren Polo shirts and K-Swiss's/Nike Cortez's but never actually score with the ladies.

Nowadays, kids can't actually score women without knowing how to eat Samgyupsal while looking like a misguided K-pop star. Back then, you had a choice between looking like a Backstreetboy or a Civic-driving-douche. Times were simpler because you can clearly distinguish men's shirts (sleeves actually touch your elbow) from women's blouses. Pants actually had enough room for balls (see: Millennial pants [noun. 1. Trousers that can only accommodate thin napkins and pantyliners in the crotch area]) --you could reach inside your pockets without twisting your body and caressing yourself!

Women weren't overly sensitive back then because hashtag squad goals and relationship goals were non-existent at that time --simply because there was no Facebook to post it on. Anybody who wanted to have fun had fun. We weren't so controlled by fuckboy-labels, dress-codes, and social media bragging. We weren't slaves to the likes and comments of people who we didn't know personally.

Movie billboards and posters weren't digitally created/enhanced and blown into elephantine-proportions back then. They were done by hand. Crude and ugly, but had their own style.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

StarCraft 2 is now FREE!!



Yes, you read it right!! StarCraft II is now free to download and play.

Check out the link below:

http://us.battle.net/sc2/en/blog/21173629/starcraft-ii-going-free-to-play-explained-11-3-2017

Here's the download link:

https://www.starcraft2.com/en-us/

Thank you Blizzard!!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Everwing on PC


Unless you have been living under a rock, you have most probably heard of the Facebook Messenger game called Everwing. Chances are, Facebook messages sent from estranged friends may have disturbed your peaceful slumber in the middle of the night.

/iˈstrānjd/

adjective: estranged

(of a person) no longer close or affectionate to someone because of incessant invitations to business clubs or networking; alienated.

Being the true gamer that you are, you scoff at the idea of playing games on mobile devices.  For those not in-the-know, you can play Facebook Messenger Games on PC.

Just go to https://www.messenger.com or go to https://www.facebook.com/games/instantgames

1. Log in to your Facebook account.

2. Select a friend or a chat group from the left pane.

3. Click on the 'game controller icon' found at the bottom right corner of the chat window.

Have fun beating those scores!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

My Generation

I have recently submitted an application (not referring to a mobile app, dear Millennial.) to get hired as Radio Jockey. At my age of 33 years, I would say my chances of landing the job are very slim to none.

The fact that I don't have any idea who Ed Sheeran is, automatically disqualifies me. You see, I grew up in a generation when things started to go downhill.

And by downhill, I mean both definitions of the contronym. Things got a lot easier but the situation worsened.

I belong to the last generation that used hard-bound Encyclopedias. We were the last to use (high-quality) branded household appliances and electronics almost exclusively. We never drank coffee when we were kids, for we believed and that only the old people needed the stuff. We didn't go to Starbucks to take photos of what we will be drinking for breakfast. Drinking water as actually regarded as normal. We were the last people who believed that sex was sacred and viewed smutty materials in private.

We were somehow satisfied with our delusional fascination with scented pens, stationeries, and aroma beads (aka Kisses).

Our parents, the Baby Boomers, 'were the enjoyers of unprecedented economic prosperity' and were able fund real properties unlike the generations that followed them. We, the Generation Y (beg to be classed differently from Millennials), have older siblings from Generation X. We grew up listening to music from Gen X'ers and MTV. The Boomers experienced 'a second sexual awakening' a decade after their first offspring and all the teachers know us as the younger siblings of the X-Generation.

'Our formative years looked nothing like those of the Millennial, television came in largely via antenna, our movies were on VHS, our music was on tape cassettes. The internet wasn’t around, and by the time it was in any way that meant something, you could be disconnected by someone picking up a phone somewhere else in the house.'

We are the 'digital natives', we used GeoCities, Napster, MySpace, Friendster and mIRC. Back then, the only annoying things you can find on the web are glittery texts, ugly backdrops, requests for (Friendster) testimonials, and (sadly) multiple mugshots (later termed 'selfies'). People didn't air out dirty laundry on social media back then because the Universe was sensible enough and forbade the existence of the 'LIKE' button.

Walkmans and Discmans we considered portable and outdoorsy.

'We collected CDs assiduously, only to replace them ten or fifteen years later with limitless discographies we could toss in our pockets. Our first cars had tape decks, for god’s sake, and you were a god if it was the kind that automatically switched to side B when side A was finished'.

'A black binder of CDs had permanent shotgun in our cars, and sometimes the discs were so scratched that the player would spit it back out like a wrinkled (peso) bill in a vending machine.'

'I probably will not bother to explain film cameras and one-hour photo developing.'

'We were fully formed adults by the time we got our first cellphones. That, by itself, is enough to separate us from the Millennial tribe. Plans were made by landline phones, and parties happened by word of mouth rather than Facebook.'

Photo filters didn't exist back then, Humans who looked like humans stayed that way (humans who looked like dogs stayed looking like dogs too). Now, everything is backwards. Humans who do not look like dogs seem to want to look like one, and humans who look like dogs can photo-filter themselves to look more human.

Y2K scared the hell out of everyone. Had I known that the year 2000 would bring more than just a computing flaw, I would have been really frightened. Yes, I am a soul stuck in the 90's.

Quoted texts from: Patrick Hipp

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Bowl of Ignorance


KFC please understand that you have no right or claim to Sisig. Sisig is an original Capampangan dish and your rice bowl is not even remotely close to what we, the Capampangans call Sisig. By naming your product as such, you are promoting and serving ignorance. To those people who say we Capampangans are merely bashing, NO, we are not simply bashing, we are DEFENDING our HERITAGE. Please be reminded that your founder, Colonel Sanders was granted the title Colonel in recognition of his contributions to the State of Kentucky. It's not American Fried Chicken, it's Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's not Philippine Sisig, it's Capampangan Sisig.