Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Simpler Times

2018 is finally here and I'm still a soul who's stuck in time. I still like to recall the time when things made sense to me.

So yeah, the first thing on this list --Starbucks planners. Back then, we didn't even want planners for the new year. We were just happy to get calendars from the local barber shop or some distillery/brewery who gave them away for free. We didn't even need to be reminded that every day (for the next 364 days) would be the same shit.

There was a time when fuckboys didn't exist. Or at least they weren't called that. The predecessors of the said subculture were less annoying because all they did was drive around town on their Honda Civics, smoked Marlboro Lights, wore Ralph Lauren Polo shirts and K-Swiss's/Nike Cortez's but never actually score with the ladies.

Nowadays, kids can't actually score women without knowing how to eat Samgyupsal while looking like a misguided K-pop star. Back then, you had a choice between looking like a Backstreetboy or a Civic-driving-douche. Times were simpler because you can clearly distinguish men's shirts (sleeves actually touch your elbow) from women's blouses. Pants actually had enough room for balls (see: Gen Z pants [noun. 1. Trousers that can only accommodate thin napkins and pantyliners in the crotch area]) --you could reach inside your pockets without twisting your body and caressing yourself!

Women weren't overly sensitive back then because hashtag squad goals and relationship goals were non-existent at that time --simply because there was no Facebook to post it on. Anybody who wanted to have fun had fun. We weren't so controlled by fuckboy-labels, dress-codes, and social media bragging. We weren't slaves to the likes and comments of people who we didn't know personally.

Movie billboards and posters weren't digitally created/enhanced and blown into elephantine-proportions back then. They were done by hand. Crude and ugly, but had their own style.