Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Politics...(Again)

Friend: Are you registered to vote for the upcoming 2010 elections?

Me: Nope I haven't had the time to get myself registered... and honestly I’m really not into politics. All I do is whine about our third world country but I’m too lazy to do something about it. I just let the good ol' gov't get away with my taxes. How about you?

Friend: Oh bite your tongue! The real number one problem in this country, honestly speaking, isn't corruption; it's actually the hopelessness OR apathy of the Filipino people. If we live in a democratic country, shouldn't we then at least have the decency to act like it? We should at the very least be able to hold our future and our future children's future et cetera, et cetera. We were meant to live for so much more than be lax about how the unjust gets their way all the time. It’s not fair. It surely isn't decent either.

ehe. actually yan po ang sagot ko sa tanong ninyo. :D
i registered this year and i'm quite excited to vote! ^_^
i really believe that in voting for leaders in their position, we shouldn't just change the people, we should change the SYSTEM of how everything works out right, do you not think so? i guess what i'm trying to say is that this upcoming 2010 is going to be the beginning of a beautiful Philippines, that is, if we make the right choice in voting the right person to lead us. :D

Me: *drops the Gary-Valenciano-Martin-Nievera-English to sound more pinoy and to make this post comprehensible to simpletons who might accidentally stumble upon my site* ah! don't get me started on politics. you're right the system has to go. sa government kasi may kultura na sa loob, it's either sumunod ka or ikaw ang magmumukhang masama kasi di ka nakikisama sa corruption (sa mga taong nakikinabang sa position at power). yung mga nasa upper ranks ng government ipapakain ka sa media pag gumawa ka ng tama at di ka nakiride sa kanila. the only way to fix it, is bomb everyone and everything, media, politicians and their staff to ash! kaya may mga terrorista eh.

kidding aside, you're absolutely correct. now is the time to start everything right. i do admire your optimism. sana maalala lang ng mga kababayan natin na wala sa magaling na leader ang solution, nasa magaling na tagasunod. simpleng pagtawid lang nga sa daan at di pagyosi sa public places di natin masundan tapos pihikan pa tayo sa mga politicians. we had a great leader, ferdinand marcos was a great leader, wala nga lang gusto sumunod. instead, out of sheer emotion, inalis natin siya sa pwesto at binoto ang may bahay ng isang napaslang na senador (nasaan ang pagiging pihikan natin sa politicians doon?). and we got away with it. kaya everytime na ayaw natin sumunod, iniisip natin na may EDSA naman.. uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Epic Fail

Good morning class!! Today we are to discuss our country's history and current state. Here is a simple diagram of our country's timetable.

Lapu-Lapu > Mactan > Magellan > Spain > Yamashita > Japan > Mac Arthur > America > Marcos > Philippines.

History seemed to work things out for the best, but somehow some people managed to/have the uncontrollable urge to fuck things up. Take Noynoy and his followers for example (yes I am referring to YOU).

Pinoy A: Buhay ang demokrasya! Nandito pa si Noynoy. Ituloy ang laban.

Me: Come on guys, Mufasa died and Noynoy has not grown up to be Simba. Dodot Jaworski has not grown up to be a Robert Jaworski. I myself have not grown up to be as great as my dad was.

Pinoy B: Maybe not, but considering his family legacy, he’s not about to fuck things up. You’re not gonna make a mess of your family name right?

Me: Well he sure did take his time (Just like Rustom Padilla) before coming out. I mean Dad died. Mom died. Greatness died. Let’s reclaim it! I wouldn’t have waited for someone/something to die out if I was THAT great. Face it dudes, you guys never gave a drop of piss about democracy ‘till Cory Aquino died. You gave up the fight years ago and you never stood by Cory’s side when she was alive. I’ve never seen you wear a Ninoy shirt before Cory died.

I haven’t heard of Noynoy’s name in decades nor was I aware that he was in the senate. They never taught us in elementary school that the Great Ninoy Aquino had a son and that his heir had a birthright to lead our nation.

Now, the Philippines is inhabited by mainstream idiots like you (people who do not know what they want and let the media decide for them), let’s pick someone who knows her ropes. I daresay that Kris Aquino is 100% president material. She’s mainstream, knows what she wants, and can decide for you and James Yap.

Back in Ondoy, Kris Aquino thanked her endorsees for the millions of cash donations. She even asked help (read: taunted) from her endorsees’ competitors, made them pee in their pants, and earned half of the Marcos’ wealth in one day to help the flood victims. Now that’s president material ladies and gentlemen. Aquino, Mainstream, and Effective.

If Dr. Jose Rizal succeeded in making our country Spain’s colony, we’ll be masturbating to the RSJ (recall sabay jakol) images of hot Mexican chics next door and Aling Dionisia’s genes could have improved a lot. We could be eating corn instead of rice seasoned with Aling Dionisia’s ‘granules’. If the Japanese stayed here, we could have giant hentai tentacles run amok in our country instead of BB Gandang Hari and his kin. Our mainstream 3gp videos could have been hot Japanese AV porn instead of Aling Dionisia’s dance craze. Things could have been a lot better in our beloved country.

That’s Epic Failure for you.

At least Bigfoot was named ‘Bigfoot’. They got that right, instead of naming him after the smaller parts in his body; he was named after the big one. Imagine being named ‘Small Dick’ right?